Monday, February 20, 2006

Take one down, pass it around, 100 bottles of beer in my gut!

BIG SURLY BIRTHDAY
BASH!


WHERE: Surly Girl Saloon

WHEN: Wednesday Feb 22nd 9pm-last call

WHY: Lothian's 28th Birthday (Feb 23rd)


** please show up if you can, but if not I understand ... I'll only hold it against you until next year ; ) **

Here is a link to the Surly Girl Saloon website with all the info you will need:

http://www.surlygirlsaloon.com/index.php

Sunday, February 19, 2006

"My butt is not safe here."

Hee Hee. Have you seen THIS yet? It is probably the best Brokeback Mountain parody I have seen in a while.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Why isn't Chris Farley dancing anymore?



The day is coming soon! The big 2-8!

My birthday is coming Feb 23rd, so here are some suggestions for gifts. Actually I just wanted to use this graphic and let you guys know about an AWESOME shopping site.

It is called Archie McPhee. HERE is where you can get sweet stuff like the librarian action figure.

So shop away, I think THIS or THIS are really appropriate for me. Wink wink, nudge nudge...just kidding.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Too unwell to post.

I never thought I would be too sick to bitch, but apparently I am. God, I feel like I am having contractions and am about to give birth to a vomit baby. Okay that was just nasty.

Anyway, I found this online and wanted to share it. Bravotv.com put up a special Nick Verros interview on their Project Runway site. It is 6 minutes of heaven, damn why are all the good ones gay? He is so cute.

Check him out HERE (if I typed the address correctly).

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I left my panties in El Segundo.


Yeah, so I think I am coming down with the plague that everyone has/had at work. It sucks, so I am just going to give you a quickie and take a nap before I head off to hell ... I mean work.

I have a job interview next Wednesday for Measurement Inc. That is the place I was telling you about where you basically grade student essay exams. It could be too good to be true, or it could be just what I am looking for, who knows.

All I know is that I am a TERRIBLE interview! I do the same thing during interviews that I do at parties where I don't know anyone. I feel all good and confident and witty while getting ready for the thing, then I just freeze and don't know what to say, and nothing comes out right! Ugh! I guess I better start reading those books out there on how to give a good interview, since I really want to get out of retail for a while. I'm not holding my breath though.

If anyone has any advice for me please let me know. You can e-mail me directly, or leave a comment and that will be e-mailed to me automatically. I need all the help I can get. Cheers!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Monday, February 13, 2006

The award goes to:



YOU WHACK:

The Award goes to: hormones. Mine have been so crazy lately I feel like I am going to boil the family rabbit any minute!

And nothing beats having to pluck or wax facial hair. I love plucking my Billy goat beard every other day! Why, I wish my moustache would just grow to meet my chin hair. Then I could have a full on goatee to deal with! Hell, add some sideburns while you are at it -- mother plucker.

The random nipple hairs rock too!





SHOUT OUT AWARD:

The Award goes to: the lady I talked to on the phone from the Worthington Library. She was so nice and helpful. I wish I could be more like her. Damn, why am I such a c*nt to the customers when they call?

Oh, yeah...we wouldn't want hell to freeze over now would we?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Oh, sugarbooger.



wow, can ya'll believe it? I actually had a response to my post in the large and lovely website! He seems nice, but is not my physical type. I suppose I will chat with him anyway.

No, that is not him. But he is my new Mascot for the online dating updates. Whenever you see Steve-o, it means someone actually responded to my ad.







Wow Ron, looks like Jake G. is now playing for your team. Have fun with him!

thanks to dlisted for letting me snatch the photo!

It's Sunday, but my panties say Friday.

I forgot to tell ya'll that a few days ago, I got to dress up as a children's book character for work. Usually when the costumes come in they are made for average sized people so I can never wear them, but luckily "Miffy" is an obscenely huge rabbit-like ... thing. Gosh, I had so much fun in that costume. Aside from the little girl who screamed bloody murder when I came out, I think the kids liked it.


Here I am pre-costume with just the legs on. Personally I think these look like the newest style of UGG boots. They went all the way up to my knees!

I wanted to wear them all day and see who would notice they were actually from a costume and not the latest fashion!








Here I am posing in our receiving room with a co-worker. No, she doesn't normally have black bars across her face, but I didn't ask her if she wanted to be on the site, so I am poorly preserving her anonymity.

I had to bend over and scoot out the doorway because my ears did n't make clearance. How fun!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Dear Goddess, What have I gotten myself into?


Okay ya'll. I don't quite know what I have gotten myself into here. I created a profile and posted it to a website called large and lovely. It caters to the BBW crowd. Big Beautiful Women to those not in the know.

I checked it out and found a lot of cute boys so I thought I would give it a go. It is better than a place like Match.com or something where all the men are expecting to meet a Halle Berry look-a-like online. It is kind of a neat site because you can create a profile and then post it to any number of personalized personals. You know, places like: I love to smoke, do you (and what kind of smoking); My dog has taken the place of my need to have a child; I am a raging alcoholic posing as wine connoiseur; I play sports but am in denial about being a dyke; I love fatties; and so on.

I think it might be fun. I mean, as the Beastie Boys once sampled, "It's like the Lotto, you got to be in it, to win it". Such poetry. You know I will keep you bitches informed, and supply all the juicy details right here. (If there are any -- I may end up keeping a runny tally of how many people looked at my profile and ran screaming away.)


Here is the site (see if you can find me):

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I'm a naughty naughty girl.


Yeah, I know. I haven't been posting. I suck, please forgive me. I never thought people would regularly read my blog. When I got that counter thing that you see at the bottom of the page, I didn't think it would ever get past 10 hits let alone 200!

I appreciate everyone reading and sharing this blog. It is really loads of fun to do. I try to post every day and I achieve it about as much as I achieve exercising every day.

Anyways, depression has had me down lately but I think I am getting out of my funk now. I am having money issues -- you'd think I would be making big bucks exotic dancing at the Hot and Heavy Whorehouse downtown, but alas I don't.

I had to borrow money from my folks to buy groceries. I was eating Ramen Noodles for lunch and dinner. It wasn't like I was wasting away to skin and bones, but it sucks not having any sort of variety in your diet aside from Beef and Oriental flavor.

To cut back on expenses I am switching from Time Warner Cable to Wide Open West (WOW). I will be saving about $20 bucks a month. I am just putting it off because I don't know what to cancel first and what to start first. Damn that sounds really pathetic. I am such a lazy bastard.

On the brighter side, I am applying for a different job. This one is with a company called Measure Inc. Basically you grade school papers, essay exams, and regular exams all day. I would be making more money than I am now, and I won't be in customer service anymore. It might even feel like I am actually using my degree for something. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

Auf Widersen!

and for my next disappearing act...

*you will have to click on the pic to get the full effect I was going for*

Yeah, so I am sorry I haven't posted in a while. I tend to do this. I sort of drop off the face of the earth for a while when I get depressed.

I have had money worries, which we all have I think. I also am becoming one of those people who dread their upcoming birthdays. My birthday is Feb 23rd and I will be 28 years old.

I remember thinking how old 28 is, and how I would have a fab job with a husband and a child or two by the time I reached that age. But now I still feel like a kid. I can't believe I am this old. It doesn't seem like anything has changed and yet everything has changed.

I just want things to be back to the way they were before when all I had to worry about was what to do with my summer vacation. I know you know what I mean.

I'm feeling verklempt!


Oh dear lord. Did ya'll see Project Runway Wednesday? Those bitches had the nerve to vote my number one GILF Nick off the show.

I kid you not, when she Auf Widersen'ed him I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I think you could have heard me all the way down the street!

Those bitches! They keep Santino? Mr. "I'm losing my hair, so I am just going to grow it long and make it look like it is just sliding off my head" Santino? Mr. "I have to cover this horse face of mine with a pube looking beard" Santino? I swear to God Heidi Klum, if I see you on the street I am going to KICK. YOUR. ASS!

Oh, I shed a tear for dear Nick. My only hope now is that Daniel wins, so that at least Santino will look like the jackass that he is. Damn you Project Runway and your addicting show!

Amendments aren't' just for constitutionals


After much deliberation with my store manager Diane (yeah us hags hang together) I have decided to amend my GILF's list and add a new gilf -- Anderson Cooper. Yum. Smart, sassy and lovely eyes. He can mole me anytime.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

gone for a while and coming back in a bitch storm!


Why is it that those of us who are desperate to have children, those of us who would treat our children like the precious things that they are, can not have kids? Yet trash like this can?

I don't believe a word of her statement that she was running from the paprazzi. If she was, she would be in the passenger seat with her child, not driving. Her body guard would have jumped into the car and drove off.

She would have looked frightened, maybe even crying. The baby would have sensed her fear and had been crying too. No, the white trash bitch simply made a really really bad decision.

She didn't want her photo taken? Live with it or Don't be a pop star! Quite frankly, pictures of Sean Preston's bloody dead body laying lifeless on the hood of her car will make SOOO much more money for the tabloids.