I am not right these days. I have not exercised much since my vacation and I certainly haven't been eating super well either. Don't get me wrong, I am not pigging out. However, my policy on dieting by not being on a diet and not depriving myself is not working. Plus, I have myself on a night-owl sleep schedule (not tired until 3 or 4 a.m.) so I am eating late at night which I know is no good.
The last I looked I had lost 22 pounds. However, I haven't weighed myself lately but I feel like I gained all that back and more. I just stay at home all day and sleep or watch T.V. Since I am not getting many hours at work I have plenty of time to become a worthless slug. Depression blows.
Plus, I have this thing that I subconsciously do with bills. When I know I don't have much in the way of money, I just simply do not pay my bills. I know they are there, and I look at them as they come in. Then I wait until I am in jeopardy of collection agents or shut offs and then I pay. It is terrible and I shouldn't do it, but of course I do.
Blah! I don't know why I am in a depression funk right now. I can blame the vacation, the heat, lack of work, lack of money, my period and so on. However the fact remains that I attempted to do my workout video tonight (and do the more difficult one) and I failed miserably. I feel like a fat piece of shit. I will get back on track, I'm sure. I think maybe this time I need to really set those goals and stick with them. Maybe even come up with weekly goals and rewards instead of just telling myself I will get a present once I lose a certain number of pounds. Who knows, I just know that I am really disappointed in myself right now.
Why can't I stick with anything? Hell, I even have trouble finishing books sometimes!!
The Golden Compass. Read it if you haven't. Come see the movie in December with me. Visit the website here, and find your own Daemon. Mine says "Modest, spontaneous, solitary, assertive, and relaxed". I love that it is a raven too.
Alright, so I know it has been awhile since I have posted something. I have been waiting to post my vacation pictures for you all to see. However I! CAN'T! FUCKING! FIND! the right kind of USB cables to hook up my godforsaken digital camera. I swear to god, I am fucking saving up my money and buying a new one. I am so annoyed, and I am pretty sure I will never be allowed to return anything to Target ever again.
Alas, you will have to be satisfied with the Google images I found. My folks and I visited the Christmas Story house in Cleveland and I FINALLY got to visit/see Lake Erie. Woot!! Here is the lowdown:
A Christmas story house: Follow the links for more information. My advice is if you are in Cleveland go see the house, Otherwise don't make a trip to see it or you will be disappointed. The picture above could not begin to show you how tiny the house is. Now, don't get me wrong. The people giving the tours are really nice people, and the museum across the street is fun (but super small too) and they have a ton of shirts and gifts to buy.
The tour of the house is informative, and I actually learned quite a bit about the production of the film. For example, the president of Higbee's Department Store did not want the movie to be filmed there (all Christmas decorations and music would have to stay up well past the holiday). However, he was going on vacation and let the Vice President make the decision on filming. That gentleman thought it would be a fun thing for the employees and a great marketing idea. Thank goodness for him because we got some wonderful movie moments out of them.
The disappointing thing about the experience was that the majority of the film is not shot in the house but actually on a sound stage. Thus, don't expect the inside of the house to look much like it did in the movie. It is simply too small.
Overall, it was a fun thing to do. However, my folks were thinking we were going to drive all the way from Youngstown to Cleveland (a good 3 hours or more) to see some huge deal thing. About 45 minutes later we were more bummed than a girl losing her virginity on prom night: This is all there is to it?
LAKE ERIE: Anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows that I have a love affair with the water and thought I might someday move to the Lake Erie/Put-In-Bay area to work and live. Well, I was elated and disappointed with my first trip there.
After the anti-climactic Christmas Story house, we figured we may as well drive another 45 minutes - 1 hour to the water. My dad took us to Miller Ferries where you put your car on the ferry and go across to the islands including Put-In-Bay (that takes too long to type, so I will be referring to it as PIB). Once we got there, is was a disaster. We arrived on a Friday at about 4 o'clock. Pretty much every single frat boy and bleached blond bimbo in the Northern Ohio area was there with cars and beer. I figure there was a few hundred cars waiting to go over. Now, the ferry stops running at 10 pm. Had we gotten across eventually, we would have had to turn around and leave to catch the last ferry or be stuck overnight.
For some reason, my father knew all this and yet failed to mention it. Apparently driving all that way to look out the window, say "Shit, that is a big ass lake!" and turn around to go home, was fine to him. I must admit I was near tears. I really wanted to go over and see this place that he had gone fishing to every year for basically my entire life. I had really romantic visions of it being something like a fishing town. Well, it ain't.
As we were leaving and defeated, my brilliant mother mentioned something about jet boat rides out to PIB. We drove around for awhile until we stumbled upon the place called Jet Express. It is in a town called Port Clinton. It was not the Dutch Harbor-esque place I had in mind, but it was super cool and I really wish we could have spent some time exploring. I plan on making a trip to Port Clinton and PIB as my 50 pound goal reward.
So, Jet Express ferry's you over the Lake to any of the islands (who knew there was more than one with more than one thing to do on them?) It is faster (but no cars allowed and daddy has bad knees) and runs until midnight. The cost was only $12.00 both ways, but with the 3 of us my mother had a small financial heart attack. But I think she knew I was bummed and also felt the same as me, why the fuck did we drive all this way to not go over to the islands?
Long story short: PIB was nothing like I thought it was. And everything that I thought it was. The main area/place to go is super small -- about the size of the Short North or smaller. The rest of the island is camping areas or homes (oh, to live there!). So, your only options are to shop, drink, eat, drink or drink. There is nothing more pathetic than a bunch of 30-something soccer moms attempting to hold onto the last threads of their youth.
Now, don't get me wrong. With a bunch of my friends, we could have a ton of fun. My dad introduced me to this awesome bar called Tippers which has an actual bar that snakes up and down the majority of the building. They had a band playing, and had a really fun atmosphere. But I wasn't really looking for bars and boobs. I was looking for taverns and fishermen and ships and seagulls.
Alas, I did have fun. I wished we could have spent more time there. PIB has underground mines/coves, aquatic museums, boat rides, beaches and so on. A ton of fun stuff to do. I would have loved to do a little more with more time and money.
We went to Perry's Monument which is the tower you see in the above picture. The monument itself was closed for repairs but the museum was cool, and we watched a short film about the battle for lake Erie. I like that kind of dorky stuff, it's a little more my pace. I am also a sucker for a good sea story. We did some shopping and ate at the boardwalk. Yes, I did try a little nibble of Mom's crab cake just for the occasion. (Vegetarian gods help me, that shit tastes GOOD!) I got some great pictures that I hope to share with you someday.
Overall PIB was disappointing as it really is just a bunch of drunks. Had I been looking for a party town that day, I would have been in heaven. However, Lake Erie was wonderful. As I said, I fell in love with (what little I saw of) Port Clinton. I just wish I could have maybe taken a boat out, or sat by the water and just be alone.
I think that was what I was looking for -- the part of me that is missing when I am not around a body of water. I know it sounds stupid and I don't have the poetry to describe just what I mean. But being around water, is like being home. I finally feel at peace and calm in my skin.
I thank my folks for taking me out there and I really hope to get a bunch of girl friends together for a weekend trip or something. Maybe even a trip by myself to go fishing and explore. Yes, I said fishing. Dad and I used to do that together all the time and I really miss it. I have made peace with it in my heart as I feel that catch and release policies do no harm.
Anyway, even though I spent my vacation with my parents, I had a good time as usual. They are pretty awesome people and really didn't feel like a dork buying my PIB mermaid shirt with my mommy at my side, or sharing a beer with my daddy.
I leave this uber-long post with a wonderful quote I found recently. It really sums up my life philosophy and it really speaks to me. It is the truth in my eyes, and if I could afford it I may end up with it inked onto my skin as a daily reminder of what I truly find important in life.
"The cure for anything is salt water -- sweat, tears or the sea." ~Isak Dinesen
I am a 31 year old single big beautiful woman. I came from a small town to the big city to attend Ohio State University and get my culture on. I graduated with a degree in Women's Studies which means I am now doomed to a life of customer service work - which I tend to loathe, Hence the "Bitter" part. You can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org