an open letter

Dear Joshua Garmon* of Dennis Hyundai on Morse Road,
I was sorry to not end up buying a car from you when I was in the market for a new car. You seemed like a really nice guy. You told us you were going to school to be a minister and I believe you. I will even confess that I really wanted to buy the Outlander from you.
However, after receiving numerous phone calls from you after you knew I went with another dealer I am really starting to hate your ass. First of all, thank you for offering to move our car while we browsed models. At first, I thought it was really nice of you, until I realized it was all a tactic to get us to come inside when we were ready to leave -- you kept our keys.
I also found it interesting that you "forgot" to give my father back his drivers license after we were done running his credit. It was "miraculously" found the very next day -- so that we would have to come back to the dealership to pick it up. Please don't think I am stupid. I knew what kind of prank you were pulling and it gave me a great thrill to drive up to your dealership in my brand new Kia Rondo.
Do you realize you kept us over 3 hours at that dealership? We told you from the beginning we were not walking out of there with a car, yet you continued to hound us. We told you I could not afford to pay more than $300 a month for payments. Yet, you came back to us with figures in the $400's? We told you I did not want to lease a car, and yet you continued to crunch numbers for a lease. Not only is all of that a waste of our time, but it was a waste of yours as well.
Finally, stop calling me! It is none of your Goddamn business "what kind of deal" Kia gave me. It was better than the one you gave me! It is harassment to continue calling, and rude to ask how much I payed for the car. Originally, I was going to recommend you to others. Not any more. I would have thought that after the first 3 phone calls I didn't return, you would have gotten the point. If you call me just one more time, not only will I report you to your boss, but I will file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau against the entire dealership and your shady tactics.

Got it?!
--Lothian

*his real name and phone number 614-905-9838 (updated phone number)