Saw things so much clearer

I have a bad habit when I drive. No, I don't chat on the phone or text message. I look too much in my rearview mirror. I don't know why, but I seem to spend more time worried about what is going on behind me than what is going on before me. I worry if someone is tailgating me, if I have my music on too loud and can't hear the cop behind me, or if something exciting is going on that I am missing.

No matter how hard I try to break myself of this habit, I can't seem to shake it. I realized the other day, that my rearview mirror is an odd analogy for my life. I spend too much time thinking about what happened in my past, that I forget where I am going. I drive on automatic pilot, which is how I live my life -- just exsisting, not really driving. Why should I worry if someone it tailgating me? They can go around. Yet, the little girl inside me is hearing some bully yelling "hey, speed up fatty! You are so slow, you are taking up the whole highway!"

I have made a concious decision to try and not spend so much time looking in my rearview and only doing so in a normal and safe driving context. However, I am having the hardest time breaking myself of this. I try to live my life and not let the pains of the past hinder me, yet I am still stuck with those voices in my head. I just find it interesting how something as mundane as driving can really reflect much larger things. I am trying to take this analogy to heart and learn from it ... but I see things so much clearer once they are in my rearview mirror.