Like a flame going out...

(I did not write these things, but I feel they represent my feelings very well)

September 11, 2006, will soon be approaching. On this day, please wear red, white and blue to work or school to show your support for those who lost their lives on 9~11~01 and to honor the heroes who worked to save them and the famil ies le ft behind.

At noon your time on September 11, 2006, no matter where you are or what you are doing, stop, put your hand on your heart, and say the Pledge of Allegiance out loud or to yourself and say a prayer for our nation.

In addition, for those of us who drive to work, please drive with your headlights on to also give honor and remembrance to those who perished on September 11th.

If all of us do this together in every time zone round the world, we will have a powerful chain of thoughts surrounding us.

5 years ago.....
A brother lost a sister
A father lost a son
A daughter lost a mother
A neice lost an uncle
A mother lost her only child
A dog lost its master
A wife lost her husband
A granddaughter lost her papa
A best friend lost a friend
A mother and daughter lost each other at the same time

Flight 93
The Pentagon
World Trade Center 1
World Trade Center 2
Flight 11
Flight 175
Flight 77

God gained 2,973 angels on September 11th, 2001

We Remember...... and will never forget.

A gift to my readers!

I found this picture of myself while going through some old photo albums and I thought you would just love it. It was taken in 198-something or other. I was in middle school (5th grade-8th grade) and we were going on a school trip to ...Somewhere. Don't you love all the details I have?

Let's discuss this picture, shall we?

-My hair: Styled in the ever popular "spiral perm." This involved taking a strand of hair, twisting it, and then wrapping it around a curler, soaking your head in the horrific (and I believe brain damaging) permanent solution, and sitting for an hour until your scalp burns.

-My Glasses: Blue...and plastic...and ... HUGE

-My Neaklace: A plastic peace sign. One of many I owned. Someone could have mistaken me for an international UN ambassador with all the peace sign necklaces I wore. It was very popular among the rap-artists that I so deeply connected with.

-The T-Shirt: New Kids on the Block. Need I say more? Oh wait, tucked in. Why in the hell did I tuck it in?? Fat chicks should never ever tuck.

-The Sweater: It had shoulder pads. Who the fuck had the bright idea for shoulder pads? I have the shoulders of Maurice Clarett, I did NOT need shoulder pads. If anything, I should have shoved them in my bra.

-The Waist Down: I know for a fact these are jean shorts. Jean shorts are not necessary. Ever. But the most important thing to mention here is the zipper. Let's face it bitches, I was NEVER that thin. No, I laid flat on the bed and with both hands, I grunted and groaned until I got that zipper up over my ever-growing pouch of fat. God bless that zipper. I don't know how it didn't just implode upon itself and launch little pieces of metal into the foreheads of my classmates.

-The Rest: I don't think I would be far off if I guessed I was wearing sneakers, with anywhere from 2-3 pairs of socks. Socks of various colors. "Scrunched" down on top of one another so that my ankles looked like some sort of demented candy cane. I am sure my legs were shaved. Poorly. With small patches of missed hair and lots of nicks. It was probably the first time that summer I even bothered to shave.

Ah! A bad acid trip down memory lane. Isn't it beautiful? I hope you all got a good laugh out of my humiliation. Do you see what I do for you people??!!

Here is to the good 'ole days, to NKOTB, and to zippers made in Malaysia. I salute you my fellow friends who survived the 1980's. Fellow friends who tried, but could not avoid the camera for all 10 years. I salute you, not like I usually do with a friendly middle finger. No, I salute you like I did in that picture, with the obligatory peace sign.

I need a date, part II.

As everyone can gather, I have been in a funk lately. I just can not figure out what to do with my life and where I want to go with things. It is really frustrating and heartbreaking.

A dear friend suggested I get my Tarot Cards read, and I just might do that. However, I have also been thinking of finding a life coach. Life Coaches are people who help you figure out what you want to do with your life and how to get there. It seems like a perfect match.

I researched it and found this place online that I know I have driven past a million times. I often wondered what The Center on High was. Now I know. It is sort of a New Age doctor's office. They apparently offer Aromatherapy, Reiki, Spiritual Counseling, Hypnotherapy, Chiropractic care, Yoga, Massage Therapy, Reflexology, Acupuncture, and ...LIFE COACHING!

So, this is where I need you lovely bitches. Every First Saturday of the month they have an open house. I think it coincides with the Short North Gallery Hop. Anyway, from 11am-5pm they offer demonstrations, meet and greet with the staff, and free refreshments.

I really want to go, but I don't want to go by myself. Anyone up for a New-Age-good time? There are free refreshments in it for you. And who knows, I may even let you feel me up a little!

Stewie's banjo band

WHO KNEW STEWIE LOVED BIG BITTER WOMEN? HERE IS THE SONG HE WROTE JUST FOR ME!!

A poll.

If I created a BBBNBabe store, would you buy anything?
	Hell to the NO!
	Only if you gave me something in return. Wink! Wink!
	Maybe...if you offered thongs.
	Sure, I have tons of disposable income!
	I don't know, depends on what you offer.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Goodbye

In case you live under a rock and haven't heard, the "Crocodile hunter" Steve Irwin has unfortunately passed away. Apparently he was filming a special on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia and was pierced in the chest by a stingray. The stingray stabbed his heart and he died almost instantly.

I don't know why, but I am saddened by this news. He was a young man with two young children. That alone is tragic.

however, I am consoled to think that much like the grizzly bear activist Timothy Treadwell , Irwin died doing what he loved and with animals that he so dearly cared for. I highly respect people who have made it their life mission to speak for those who can not speak for themselves. Although a little goofy, Steve Irwin was a man who spent his life caring for animals, rescuing them, and educating the public about them.

I remember the episode where one of his beloved "crocs" died of natural causes. Steve cried with grief both freely and unapologetically in front of the ever present cameras. Clearly his compassion and passion was true. I only pray that his dream and hard work is carried on by not only his staff, but also his growing children and loving wife.

REST IN PEACE, CROC HUNTER

(for more information, visit the link below)
MSN - News - 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin Dies at 44

His holy Pug-ness

Pugieness

IN HONOR OF MY 100TH POST, HERE IS A VIDEO OF AN ADORABLE PUG AND THE LUSCIOUS LITTLE PIGGY NOISES THEY MAKE.

Deep thoughts.

So, one has some free time to think when they are slacking off at work. A while back, I made a short list of things I like, weird things I do, and other random thoughts. Like the ape above, I thought really hard about these things and may have hurt myself at some point.

**Please share your deep thoughts, etc and I will add them to my post. Wierdos unite!**
**I think I will update this periodically as I find more quirks about myself**

- I have an unquenchable desire to unbend perfectly good paperclips.
- I like to stare at people when they are talking loudly on their cell phones and I react to what they are saying.
- I like to give people the finger when I drive.
- I feel the need to peel the label off of all the bottled beverages I consume.
- Brand new Sharpie Pens make me really happy.
- I often spend too long wondering what path that pen from "Hotel Pontchartrain" in Detroit Michigan took to get onto my desk.
- Grown women who chomp and smack their bubble gum irritate the hell out of me.
- I have to wash pre-packaged underwear before wearing them because I don't know where inspector #457's hands have been.
- I hate Sudoku puzzles and the left-brained number loving freaks who do them.
- I like to contemplate the need and/or usage one has for a moustache. Because they certainly are not cute.
- Female Opera singers make my ears bleed.
- Male Opera singers confuse me.
- Dogs who hump my leg make me really uncomfortable.
- I want to strangle people when the interrupt me.
- Gay guys are the only men I am comfortable around.
- I have a confusing obsession with Pope John Paul III.
- The new Pope gives me the creeps.
- I often think Hackers know I am online and are waiting to take over my computer.
- I always screw things up when I try to do the self-checkout at Kroger.
- Watching movies with sex scenes in the company of my parents is really really weird.
- I have an unhealthy addiction to popsicles.
- Loud noises and places make me crabby.
- I can't stand waiting in traffic, I get unnaturally angry.
- I don't know why, but I love watching the tv show Dog The Bounty Hunter.
- I can't stand magicians. They freak me out and make me mildly angry.
- Air conditioning both fascinates and confuses me.

... more to come.

Morons

So, as many of you know we had tornado warnings all around Columbus tonight. A full on, Meterologist getting a boner, sirens blaring, tornado warning.

Of course I was working tonight at the store. Not where I envisioned my last day on this earth, however not surprising that I would die somewhere that dreams of ripping the life out of my soul and shitting on the withered remains.

I got off track, my point is this. Much like the assholes to my left, no one in the store seemed to care. Now, I was not worried and in fact found the whole thing kind of fun. However once I saw the stupid Oprah watching, SUV driving, soccer mom idiots bringing their kids into the store I had enough.

Okay, so you are lost in a good book and do not notice the sirens blaring in your ear -- fine. You are a fearless moron whose last wish is to die at a bookstore reading Penthouse letters and sucking on a venti Java Chip Frappuchino -- fine. You are afraid of the storm and think it safer to stay inside than try to drive in the terrifying drizzle -- fine. But if you are a bored parent who can't stand a single moment more in the company of your drippy, smelly kids -- take them to the bookstore and hope to God you get blown away in the process?

These are the same idiots who are surprised when their house on wheels goes sailing past the local Walmart with them still inside.

(newscaster): "So Jim Bob, when did you decide the situation was too dangerous and that you needed to get somewhere safe?"

*spits out his tobaccy and scratches his balls*

"Wall Mizz Chong, I done thunk eet 'twas bad whan mah trayleeor started a-shakin' an movin' all by it's lonesome. I says to mah sistah who also be mah wife, I says 'jewdie, we bess get on up outta here. Dis bitch gonna blow 'way'. So, we done ran up da heel thar to mah uncle's house. He got one of them thar basements. We done got thar just in time tah see mah fav-or-ite prize heffer Lucy go sailin' by. Boy, I tells ya Mizz Chong -- I's never thunk this evah done happen tah me. I's as sue-prized as mah daddy/brother was when I was done born with these here flippers. Shoo-ee, Boy!!"

PS-- the links I put in this post might be of interest clicking on. Wink, Wink. Nudge, Nudge.

Um, Bless you?

Panda sneeze shocker

I laughed so hard, I peed a little. I jumped like mama too!!

LOST S3 Promo version 1

Panty creamer

Oh! I just wet myself a little bit!!

Damn, I can't wait for the new season. I was getting a little bored with the show, and wasn't excited until I saw this poster. Man, my Hobbit boyfriend looks F.I.N.E. Thanks to D-Listed for the picture.

Sorry about the changes

Well, you found me! Sorry I had to make the change, but I felt it necessary. I have since erased all the posts that have gotten me in trouble in the first place. This way no one gets hurt, and I can fucking move on. Thanks for following me here. I feel kind of shitty today so no Project Runway post until the weekend. But boy do I have alot to say about that!!!

south park &harry potter

this should counteract my anger

Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and sometimes it gets the trash heap.

So, I woke up a few minutes ago thinking about work and being pissed off. I figured before I go and close on a Saturday night, I best get things off my chest. Maybe I won't be so pissed by the time I get to work.

I know many people from my workplace read this, and at this point I don't particularly care if someone gets offended or not. This is my space to do and say what I will.

I don't have the time or the energy to delve into the main reason why my job sucks right now. It is complicated and long. But I want to bitch about a small aspect of it that has gotten my knickers into a knot.

The Fucking vacuuming! I almost always close on Sunday nights, and we as a staff have to vacuum every Thursday and Sunday night. Now, at my other store we had to clean the bathrooms too, so this is not a huge deal to me really. However, I don't think we should have to do it. That is why we have a cleaning staff that comes in and does a shitty job every morning.

But alas, certain people still refuse to do the vacuuming at night. The same people, over and over again are forced to do it. One night, a staff member complained to me about it. She said that she is always the one to sweep at night, and others never do it. As a lead (supervisor to those not in the bookstore know how) I do not feel as though I am responsible to assign this every night. I am a glorified bookseller with no fucking authority. However, I thought it IS my responsibility to bring this complaint to the managers and offer a sort of solution.

However, the managers do not take it upon themselves to ever insure that this ugly task gets done. They are glorified babysitters (that statement is gonna get me in trouble, but fuck it). Anyway, I think the mature thing to do is to go to the person who writes the daily schedule and ask her to assign sweeping like everything else gets assigned (recovery of areas, breaks, etc). She more or less said she did not want to and that people should be responsible adults to deal with the issue among themselves. I said I agreed, and I do! But apparently people can not act like civilized adults and work as a team. Working as a team is another rant for another day, though.

I more or less I thought to myself, well fuck it. I will just be a bitch and go ahead and assign someone to do it every time I work. But then I also thought, why the fuck should I care since we are paying the managers to care?

Long story even longer, once the new daily schedules are posted lo and behold myself and the person who came to me to complain are assigned to vacuum the next few nights. So, is this a fuck you? Just because I asked the manager to assign the task does not mean she has to. Once she explained to me why she didn't want to do it, I agreed with her and told her not to bother. Things were quiet for a few weeks and now she decides to start scheduling? What the fuck got up her ass? She is a lovely person, and is one of the few managers I see actually caring about things and working hard. I am on her side, but why punish me for trying to do my job and fix things?

Oh well, it seems like a small and insignificant thing -- and in a way it is. However, this vacuuming issue represents a larger and much more serious issue with this staff. I officially throw my hands up in the air and say "Fuck this place, fuck the bullshit, I give up." or is it give in? You want me to not care anymore? you got it!

Fuck your links of interest!

Sorry to add the word verification to my comments function. I got sick of the "here are some links of interest to you" bullshit. I hate that some fucking people on the internet have to ruin everything in this world. I thought I could trust people, and maybe even meet some nice new people along the way. I was really wrong.
Thanks for fucking with the one last thing a girl can do for free to express herself. Why didn't you give me a goddamn virus while you were at it?! Fuck you, you know who you are. There are unfortuately a million of you.

STARTING TO GET ANNOYED WITH THE ...

Don't have much to say.

SIGN MY DAMN GUESTBOOK!

OR YOU WILL GET THE EVIL EYE!!



















what the hell, I'm gonna give it you you anyway!

BLAHG!!!!

Is it really a vacation if I don't leave Columbus??

So, my ma and pa are coming into town tomarrow and we are going to have a little mini-vacation together.

The sperm and egg reserved a hotel room (nuthin' fancy) and we are going to go swimming, sit in the air conditioning, and 'prolly get room service. I haven't seen them in about 6 months, so it should be nice.

Of course, we are staying in Delaware....Ohio. So, I am not really going on much of a vacation. However, I don't have to work. I don't have to pay for dinners. And I get to see my folks and maybe my sister.

I'll talk to ya'll in about 3-4 days. Lates!

Don't make me go all mental-patient on your ass!

I opened my e-mail today to find I had 31 messages. About 25 of them were comments from my blog. Apparently I have been spammed. I have never eaten spam, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Anyway, I have all these random comments from "anonymous". I saw there was a teeny-tiny link at the bottom of "anonymous' " comments. Don't click on these links as I do not know where they go, or what might happen. I seem to attract computer problems, so if there is a virus on these -- I will get it.

Anyways, the comments are all nice and really positive so I don't think I will enable the verification function just yet. I am going to keep them up too ... At least someone is posting comments.

Maybe they should have spammed my GUEST BOOK too! No one else seems interested in it (*eyes glancing your way*)

*pout*

Rock on!

So, I have created a little radio station for you thank-less (ie: guest book) bitches.


I found this awesome site that allows you to create a playlist, add it to your player, and then add to your blog (or myspace). The best thing is the price -- it's free ya'll!

Right under my profile is a little player. Just click "select station". Click "Lothian's Lair" and it will begin playing. It is randomly playing songs I chose just for you!

I didn't have too much to choose from, so don't look for any 80's metal yet. I do think you will be surprised as my eclectic taste in tunage. Enjoy!!

I got a million of 'em bitches!!

You know I won't ever stop!

I call it "times"

Here is a little movie I did. It is more fun with the music on, so just click the little icon and it will play. I did it that way because that damn song was starting to annoy me! Enjoy, bitches!

I got crabs.

Crab Fu

Got a guestbook, bitches

Oh yeah, I am SOOO moving up in the cyber-world! I just added a guestbook at the bottom of my blog. Sign it mofo's! It is right under my counter there. See it? Good. Now sign it.

Sign my guestbook please. I really want you to. Hardly anyone leaves me comments, yet I know you read this. I know because once I say something on here, people at work confront me about it. See watch -- purple nipple licker.

I bet I will go to work and someone will ask me "Lothian, are you mental? Where the hell did 'purple nipple licker' come from?" and I will say, "Beats me. Did you sign my guestbook?"

Have you signed it yet? Probably not because you are still purple reading nipple this licker. Sign it!! You don't even have to think before you say something stupid like purple nipple licker, because I say stupid stuff all the time. Just type something, it can be offensive and inappropriate -- those are the best kinds. I don't care what you write as long as it isn't purple nipple licker.

Celebhead: Britney

A day in the life of everyone's favorite mom.

Not all who wander are lost ... except me.

For some reason, I am feeling very introspective and sad today. I would like to share a poem from The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien that keeps scrolling over and over in head.

Somehow it is reflecting my state of mind right now.


Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?

Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?

Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?

Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?

They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;

The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.

Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,

Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?



I think my "red fire glowing" is going out.

Tell me what you think happened.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Post #77

I am a sucker for these quizzes.

1. When was the last time you shaved?
Today, after many many days of not shaving.
2. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Green. what is that, lime?
3. Do you enjoy looking at your myspace profile?
It is my guilty pleasure. Reading that and my blog.
4. What does your favorite candle smell like?
Fresia or rain.
5. Are you any good at math?
Hell to the no.
6. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Sadly, no.
7. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Gosh, probably college sometime. I am sure I repressed the whole traumatic thing.
8. Who should get number one on People magazines sexiest list?
Colin "Fuck me" Farrell. As for the ladies, I would say Angelina Jolie. She is perfection.
9. What is one of your favorite things to do when it's cold outside?
Snuggle in a cozy, warm sweater.
10. What is one of your favorite things to do when it's hot outside?
Complain and sit in front of the fan/air conditioner.
11. What was the last TV show you watched?
Some crazy documentary on killer jellyfish.
12. Do you have any famous ancestors?
That depends on what they are famous for...
13. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Cracked open a wee bit.
14. Do you have a secret identity?
Of course, and she is a Hobbit.
15. Have you ever sniffed magic markers?
What, like today?
16. What was one of your favorite toys as a child?
I have a family of three bears: mama, papa and baby. I still sleep with them on my bed.
17. Are you good at cooking anything in particular?
I kick dessert's ass!
18. Do you have any injuries right now?
Carpal Tunnel is acting up, and my ... heart ...
19. Do you have a credit card?
Yes, just don't ask if they are maxed or not.
20. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
Unfortunately, yes. And I can't pay it now.
21. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
Every last one of them. Do I know the worlds to the Star Spangled Banner? Not so much.
22. Do you have DSL, cable or dialup?
Isn't DSL and Cable the same thing? I have one of those.
23. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines/voice mail?
Yes, like a rambling idiot.
24. Have you ever wanted to look like someone else?
I still do. Anyone else but me.
25. What's your favorite frozen treat?
Ice Cream, bitches!
26. Are you an organized person?
I thought I had the answer to that question in this file here, but I don't see it now. Maybe in that box over there? Nope. I know it was just here a minute ago, can you lift up that pile of papers over there and see if it is underneath??
27. Do you think you have an OCD about anything?
Yep, but not in a terrible and agonizing disorder way, but in a cute "Monk"-ish way. (you know, the TV show)
28. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to (I said concert you pervs)?
First concert was The Monkees at the Canfield Fair. Followed many years later by New Kids On The Block. Opening act? -- Weird AL!
29. What are your guilty pleasures?
Myspace, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Chocolate, Mr goodvibrations ... oh wait...
30. Are you a fast reader?
No, I analyze too much.
31. Have you ever put "yes please" by sex on something you had to fill out (i.e. job application, standardized test...)?
God, I am such a dork...
32. Have you ever vandalized anything?
Yes. I tend to vandalize/destroy at work. I think I have an issue or five.
33. Are you afraid or bothered by something that others find strange?
I have to wash packaged underwear before I wear them.
34. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Sure.
35. Do you use Twizzlers as straws?
No, I use them to snort my cocaine.
36. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Getting braces on and off. I hate teeth!
37. Can you name all 50 states?
There are fifty?
38. Is there a celebrity that you would like to punch in the face?
Ann Coulter and all the other homophobic, racist, sexist, and hate spewing pieces of shit that pollute our earth in the name of God or the government.
39. Have you ever stepped on something sharp and had it go through your foot?
Yikes, no.
40. Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish?
No, but did you know there are killer jellyfish ... (seeing if you are paying attention)
41. What's one of the dumbest home remedies that you've heard of?
Drawing a blank.
42. Have you ever saved anyone's life?
I don't think so. I couldn't deal with it even if I did -- too much responsibility.
43. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I like everything that the ocean does except kill people.
44. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?BITCH I bought myself one last year!!!
45. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
No, but would LOVE LOVE LOVE To go. Does that make me a nerd?
46. Do you use a lot of salt?
Only when I want a little popcorn with my salt.
47. Is your closet organized?
What closet? Everything I own is strewn all over the floor.
48. What is a funny sound to you?
Little kids laughing -- it is as contagious as bird flu.
49. Have you ever been complimented on something other than your looks?
Yes... on my writing skills
50. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. Am I gross?

Here I go again, on my own.

So, I can't post a long note because my carpal tunnel is killing me. I just wanted to say that if you are reading this, then you are probably a friend of mine, and you most likely have noticed I am kind of bitchy lately and just not myself.

Here is why: I am simply unhappy with where my life is now. I have been unhappy for some time now, but I haven't been able to figure out why or how to fix it.

No this isn't a suicide note, you smartasses.

I am just pretty sure that I am going to be moving somewhere new. I haven't made any concrete decisions yet, and I can't fully explain it to you yet. I don't even understand it myself.

I have been wishing for some signs, and if my wrist is feeling better soon I will post all of the signs pointing toward this being a good idea. It is just really really scary to me. Not only am I looking at a change of residence, but also a change in jobs and in lifestyle.

Right now, I am thinking of staying in Ohio. Originally it was Alaska (specifically Dutch Harbor or Juneau) -- yes, really. I can see your eyes rolling right now, but I didn't want to move to Alaska simply because of my obsession with the crab show. I may someday end up there, However, I think it might be an easier transition for me to stay in the state.

I am thinking of looking into a job at Put-in-bay at Lake Erie. During the summer months, you can get a job there and pay room and board to live on the island.


I just need to be near the water ...

Well, I done did it!

I told you bitches I was going to chop my hair off!!

Didn't believe me, did 'ya? Well, here is the proof. Yeah, I did the bangs thing but I need to spend some quality time with them before I wear 'em. Overall, I am pretty happy. I can honestly say that I do not miss the long hair at all! I feel so much more free and cool. Plus, I think the cut is way more flattering. I hope whoever gets my locks will love them!

*sorry about the quality of the photos. I took them with my camera phone because I have a perfectly good digital camera that I have no idea how works.*







Yep, it is cut right under my ears. You can see that the bangs and I have already had our arguement. Oh well, I will at least get lots of use from my haggish collection of barrettes!














Here I am doing my best to rock the bangs and prove to you guys that I really did get some. They look good, but it just feels really weird having something sitting on my forehead.

Here is a shot from the back. Yep, That is my white trash butterfly tattoo under my neck. Before, my hair fell to well below my bra strap, now it barely covers the back of my neck, which is were the butterfly is. Again, sorry for the poor quality of photos.

Feeling hairy.

I am very excited to announce that I will be chopping all (or at least 10 inches of ) my hair off tomorrow at 11am.



I plan on donating the clippings to Locks of Love which is an organization that creates human hair wigs for children with cancer, and presents it to them free of charge. I encourage anyone who is willing to do so, to donate. It is such a wonderful organization.


I will be going to Kenneth's Academy salon training center in Dublin. If anyone wants to join me, feel free to show up and hold my hand.
I am nervous, but very excited. I will be taking pictures as soon as I can and will post the new 'do for everyone to see. Bangs, anyone?


*Extra special thanks to Erica for all the hair idea magazines*

Oh yeah?

I am 50% Asshole/Bitch.

I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

One of these things is not like the other...

Okay Bitches, It's finally time! Yes, I need to cut my hair!! It is all the way down to my ass, I am hot, and I am cranky, so it is gone!

I plan on donating my hair to Locks Of Love, so I will need to chop off at least 10 inches. I went to this awesome site from the UK, and got to try out some new styles for free -- God bless the British. It was a hard choice, but I narrowed it down to three.



Please vote for your favorite:

Happy Birthday, baby.

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY COLIN!!


I HAVE MY PRESENT FOR YOU RIGHT HERE:






IT'S IN MY PANTS.

Hit me baby, one more time!

Oh my... I got my first spankin' over the Madonna post.

"SMACK! Yes that's a hit to your fat head with my Prada purse. Madonna ia THE DIVA and can do NO wrong. Glen Beck is an asshole, a bigot, and Bush lover (in both senses). I am shocked at you girlie! I'll be praising Madonna when I go see her LIVE, cross hanging nymphette that she is. I love you Madonna, I love you too Lothian, although I think you need another smack ! THWACK! "

(I think I kind of liked it. Mommy wants more, hit me harder!! HARDER!! Actually, that's just from Ron at BLAH BLAH BLOG. French Kisses and hugs sweetie, praise away.)

1033

Damn, I can't believe my blog has had 1,033 hits! Thanks so much for the support, you guys rock my world!

I am sorry I have been neglecting ya'll. I have been spending some quality time with my Myspace account. I don't know why, since Myspace is kind of lame. I guess it is just a wee bit more entertaining because I can add music and graphics. Also, I keep finding all these Deadliest Catch folks on there. The appeal of hottie fishermen is ... well ... Understandable I think.

Anyway, I am pissy today so I thought I would:
1) Bash Madonna
2) Love on you guys
3) Make Microwave pizza and buy ice cream since tonight is the season finale of LOST, bitches!

Maybe if I feel up to it after the show is over, I will share why I am so bitter. Well, bitter today anyway. However, I am not so irritated right now. Maybe it is because my favorite Tom Petty song, "Don't come round here no more" is playing on my computer right now. Maybe it is because I amused myself senseless with that Madonna post. Who knows? But the happy Lothian personality is now making an appearance. (she is not nearly as fun...)

Since you are asking, my anger surprisingly has nothing to do with my lazy postman who didn't walk five feet to deliver my Deadliest Catch boxed set TO! MY! DOOR! but instead left a little obnoxious "sorry we missed you, sucker" postcard in the box. How the hell is a girl supposed to go the post when she works 9-5:30? Damn the man!

Anyone willing to wait in line for an hour at the post office for me Thursday? ... ... ... Okay, don't everyone volunteer at once!

pissing off my gays

Alright, I know I am going to piss off my gays here but I am in a crabass mood and I am going to take it all out on Madonna.

Let me say a few things first before you smack me around with your Prada man purses, okay? First of all, Madonna is a legend. Bitch knows what she is doing and does it well -- musically anyway. Secondly, I wore the lace gloves and poofy wedding dress garb back in the 80's because I loved her. Third, I DO IN FACT own a few Madonna Cd's. Last but not least: I support free speech and artistic expression.

Phew! That said, let's get to the Vadge bashing. I am not going to go over all the news buzzing about Madonna's new concert tour because unless you live under a rock, you know what I am talking about.

I was checking out Trent's blog "Pink is the New Blog" -- (I have a link for it if you haven't been there yet,) and I blatantly stole this little piece of news. It is from CNN's Glen Beck who is a Republican Christer, I believe.

I DO NOT SUPPORT GLEN BECK!!!!!

However, this shit is funny:

"Ok the people that went to Madonna's concert in L.A. Spent $380 A Ticket to see this (he shows pic of her hanging on the cross) and let me tell you that's worth every dime that you paid really.
Hey Madonna will you do me a favor, knock off the Christ bashing for 10 minutes will you. She doesn't even offend me anymore I've gone numb to Madonna's antics. What really bugs me is the hypocrisy. Last year she was promoting her horrible children books Madonna said 'we shouldn't let our kids watch TV, Americans have to stop doing that theres too much filth on television'."
"Gee Madonna why would you think there's too much filth on TV? (he plays her videos for like a virgin and American pie) Look at this I'm not even sure but I think I'm getting crabs just from watching this, really in fact if your at home grab some penicillin, swallow it otherwise your gonna be peeing cookie dough tomorrow."
"Do you remember when Madonna made out with Britney spears at the vmas apparently that confused her daughter Lourdes, which is a stupid name, she asked her mom she said "mom are you gay?" Madonna's response in that fake British accent "I am the mummy pop star and she is the baby pop star and I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her."
By energy, Madonna if you mean cold sours then yeah your probably right."
"Madonna's latest antics has everybody shocked, I don't know why really she's a one trick pony, since 1983 same stuff. The only thing that shocks me anymore is when people are who they say they are they don't play games with who they are just to make money."
"Instead of humping a stack of bibles Madonna, maybe you should lose the fake British accent, act your age, spend a little more time with your kids and leave mine alone.
That Madonna would be truly shocking."

Humping a stack of Bibles? Hee hee. I'm sorry ladies and girlies, but her schtick is getting a little old. Especially if Glen Beck can pin it on the head.

The Lourdes comment was not fair or nice -- it is not her fault her "mummy" is lame. Give the poor little girl a break she inherited those damn eyebrows for crissakes.

okay, I am bracing for my bashing now. Bring it on Bitches!

"It's time for the Crab Show. Go ahead and watch the crab show. Crabby, crabby, crab show."

Alright, anyone who knows me at work knows I love the television show Deadliest Catch. So in honor of the show, I got crabs. Okay, not really. But I did find this adorable commercial online. I think it is for the Element car or some shizz, but I just love the gay foreign crab in it. "I like to peeinch"

For shits and giggles, check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epf1m3TCPcs

Yes, I know I am a vegetarian and should be morally opposed to a show about fishing for crab but I can't help it. I love me some hunky fishermen. Dayum, bitches!

Pimp my ride

Your Pimp Name Is...

Brown Sugar Money

What's" Your Pimp Name?

I need a date...

It is time for the

HELL CITY
TATTOO

Convention!



I need a date. Anyone interested?

Smells like ... spring?

Hmph! Spring has Sprung, Bitches!!!

Play with my...

Feel free to play with my Hedgie while you wait for a new post...

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!!

You Gotta play this game, it is hilarious!!

I think I am turning Japansese, I really think so.

Here is my name written in Japansese, isn't that awesome? Find out what your name looks like right Here.

Missing you

So, I did a Google image search for "runny nose" and got this guy. I think he has more problems than just a runny nose. I don't think that banana look is healthy.

Anyway, sorry I haven't been around lately. This two job BS had got me beaten down. With all the stress I came down with a killer cold (of course).

Unforts, I don't really have much to talk about. All I have been doing is working, watching TV and sleeping.

Speaking of television I have a new obsession. I can't believe it, but I love this Discovery Channel show called Deadliest Catch. Check it out on Tuesdays at 9pm if you are curious. It is all about crab fishing off the Alaskan coast. It is exciting, but I think what I love about it is all the hot fishermen. Salty and rich, yum!

Other than fantasizing about myself and one of the crab boat Captains in a sexy and dangerous embrace, I have not been up to anything. Boring, Boring.

Happy Easter Ya'll

I have a confession to make

Okay ya'll, I have a confession to make. You know I have been going online at some dating websites trying to find someone. I recently met a guy, and his name is Josh. He is really really nice. I haven't mentioned it because we were just talking and I did not want to jinx it or anything. Plus, I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Anyway, we have been chatting for about 3 months now. He lives in Columbus and we have been dating for about 2 months. I am so happy to have found a really sweet guy. Plus he is super super hot!! When he sent me his photo, I knew he was the one. Check him out HERE .

Jealous, Bitches?

Someone hurt me today.

It hurt my heart. Sorry, no post.

Damn, whatever happened to customer service?

I am aghast!! I thought I was the queen bitch of customer service ...


(From Me) Hello,

I am the blog contest winner and I think I may have entered my order in wrong. It appears to be charging me the whole amount. What gives?

S-

(From Them) S-,

We thought we told you in the email we sent that the amount comes off the total when we download the order. We apologize if you did not get that msg.

Archie

so much to say, so much to say

Hey ya'll. I know I haven't been posting lately, but I really haven't had much to talk about. Well, when it rains it f*cking pours apparently. Cuz I finally have some blog worthy junk.

First of all, I have been recovering from having a tooth pulled. I knew the dentist was going to do it, but I guess I repressed just how damn much that shizz hurts! For whatever reason, the very last tooth on each side of my upper jaw have been no good. The one on the left side broke and I had it pulled a few years back, then this one broke and rotted so I had to yank it too. Eww! I really do take care of my chompers (I promise!!), but for some reason I inherited bad teeth from my dad.

Secondly, I quit my job delivering papers. Here is the funny thing with that: I could have kept it. Basically, for the next three weeks my full-time job schedule was going to prevent me from being able to deliver the papers. After that, I would have been able to do it but I figured why spend my (half) day off working? So, I thought I would just quit and not have to worry about trying to get the route delivered these next three weeks.

Yeah, that didn't go as planned. Apparently when I signed the contract for the paper route, I agreed to give them a month notice of my departure. Damn. This particular project I will be working on part-time is also a month long. So now I have to do the papers (plus full-time job, plus part-time) until my month notice is over, which will also be when this project is over. So, once I CAN deliver the papers I won't have to anymore. F*cking Figures.

Thirdly, you may have been questioning why I put an Archie McPhee link in this post. Well, a while ago I entered my blog in a contest the online store was having. Basically you had to give them a shout out in your blog (or link to them), and then they would pick a winner. I did both, Lo and Behold, I WON THE CONTEST!! I won a $100 shopping spree! Hot damn! I was so excited that I sat down tonight and put in my order. Of course I screwed it up, and now I may be charged $103.92. ...AND... Of course I tried to enter the order again to see if I could fix the problem.

Why don't I learn? I had already 'effed it up the first time, why in the hell would I try it again? I guess I wanted to be charged $103.92 twice! So, now I have to call the customer service in the morning and basically introduce myself as "dumbass contest winner Lothian" and plead for them to fix my mess. Geez!

So, yeah. For some of you the gears and levers in your head started to creak and moan into action when I mentioned that I did my Archie Mcphee shopping tonight. Many of you probably cocked your heads confuseididly (yeah, I made that last word up. So what? It's my blog! bitches.) and cried aloud "Why Lothian, didn't you start your new part-time job tonight at 5pm? What happened?"

Right you are my sharp witted pals! I was supposed to start my new part-time job tonight. But let's see here, this is Lothian's world...therefore things have to be 'effed up. I mean, I was so freaking prepared for this job it wasn't even funny! I slept all day Sunday so that I would be nice and rested for the big day. I quit the paper route, I left early from my full-time job ... hell, I even packed two lunches!

I get there and apparently on Friday afternoon the building had some sort of emergency plumbing problem. I don't know exactly what happened -- things were exploding and the shit had hit the fan (no pun intended). I don't know, all I know is that they cancelled the training for us tonight. Apparently everything is good to go for tomorrow and should be back to normal, but we only got paid for an hour today (for driving there and back). Of course these things only happen to me!

So I stopped at Taco Hell and got a burrito, sat down and wrote out this mini novel to you fine folks. I am sorry to say that blogging will be at a bare minimum from here on out (as long as no more plumbing issues arise) since I will be working about 12-13 hours a day M-F. So send me good thoughts, and I will try to post Wednesday and let ya'll know how the training is going and if I am surviving. Peace out.

Being lazy

Yeah, I haven't posted in a while and for that I apologize. I will try my best to write to ya'll either tomorrow or Wednesday. Until then, enjoy this link I recently found. I peed a little when I saw it.

The press release from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of Southpark in regards to Tom Cruise trying to ruin all that is hilarious.


Also check out this awesome skit from SNL: Geek Phone Sex

just put on a happy face ...

Wow! Things are starting to look up for me again. You were right Kim! Anyway, I just want to thank everyone for sending me all that positive energy. People talk about the power of prayer, it must really work.

<-- I don't feel like that photo anymore. I found out that I will be getting a decent income tax check in a month or so, which I can apply to some of my debt. I also just found out today that I will be able to work the night shifts at that job I was telling everyone about. That means if my "real job" allows it, I will work from 8-4:30 there and then 5-10:15 at this other place. I really think/hope I can handle the hours.

The chick on the phone said that the first assignment will run until the end of April or so. That means (if my calculations are correct -- ya'll know math ain't ma' thing) I will bank around 120 hours, at $11.20/hr. So, after taxes I am looking at around $1300 or $1250. Then I will have a few weeks off until the next assignment. I am thinking of continuing to deliver the paper since I will have time where I won't have any extra money coming in.

I am feeling pretty good about the whole shebang. Hopefully I won't go into work tomorrow and have them tell me they refuse to work around my new availability...

Oh!! I have to tell you this embarrassing story! So, I have been noticing that one of my teeth/gum areas have been hurting. If you read my blog you will remember all the drama and dollar signs I had with one of my molars, and THAT was the tooth area that was hurting.

So, I am brushing my teeth the other night and I decide to get a flashlight and start exploring around in my chasm. I mean my mouth, you sick bastards! Anyway, Lo and behold my gums are turning black right around the tooth that I had my crown put on! I freak the fuck out and call my dentist. They agree to see me the next day. So I go in, spread my lips ... My Mouth Lips, you Horn Dogs! ... and the doc peers inside.

He is silent for a minute, and then clears his throat. I prepare myself for the inevitable bad news. "Um Lothian" he says, "all you are seeing is the bottom of your crown, which is METAL. The pain is probably just something stuck under your gum. If you flossed more than once a year you wouldn't have that problem. Your tooth is fine and so is your gum. You dumbass." Okay, maybe I added the dumbass part. But basically the inside of my crown is metal and was showing through making things appear blackened. My gum wasn't dying and about to fall off. And I didn't have mouth cancer. I just had a bad case of dumbassitis.

Blah Bletch Blog

Happy Birthday Bitch.

My space

not much to say, so I am working on setting up a myspace. Why? I haven't a clue. I think I am just excited to be able to have a song play while you check out the site. Man! I wish blogger did that shizz!

Check out My Space right herr.

Chi-Ompaloompa

These guys should take care of the last few depressing posts I left for you. Kind of old photos, but so damn cute anyway.

Chi-turkey

I worried that I may have depressed ya'll too much. So here is Mr. ChiTurkey. He always makes me smile.

Having a breakdown

Um, you can read this if you want or don't. I am just having a minor breakdown at the moment and I thought maybe writing it out would help. Of course taking my medication would probably help too damn it!

So, I didn't sleep for shit last night. I think I have just gotten myself on a weird sleep schedule where I don't go to bed until 3am and then sleep until 3 in the afternoon. I close tonight at work, so I am delivering my papers early this morning. Other than tossing and turning all night, everything was fine until about 8:50 when my phone rings and caller ID shows it is from "unavailable". That only means one person -- creditors. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't get it out of my head and ended up in tears. I am up to my asshole in debt.

I know many if not all of you are in the same boat, but I don't think I can handle it anymore. I can't even pay my $250 minimum payment on my Mastercard bill. I couple of years ago, I took out money from the bank to pay my bills and look where I am again ... I already told you guys I worry about EVERYTHING and this is no exception.

I had to have my father co-sign or co-apply for my bank loan otherwise they would not have given it to me. I don't want to fuck with his credit!! I don't live extravagantly, so I can't even think of what to cut out of my life to help with the problem. I have been dragging my feet changing cable companies, but that would only save me about $20 bucks a week. I am afraid this other job I am getting is not going to work out either. I just worry about scheduling!! Before I worried about being exhausted, but fuck that now. I can't take it anymore.

What I have looming over my head is becoming more and more of a possibility. Moving back home. Home is a very small town in Youngstown Ohio. Right now I am in Columbus. My mother would be so fucking excited if I moved back. She has been trying to convince me to do it for years. If I moved back in with my folks I would save money on rent. I work one of those jobs where transferring is not too big of a deal -- there is a store in Ytown too.

I have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other kind of thing going here. On one hand, I guess I think moving back home would be a solve all solution. It most likely would help, but not solve everything. I DO miss my family, but they also drive me crazy.

On the other hand, moving back home would make me even more depressed than I already am. I would feel like and absolute failure. Also, I love living by myself and living at home would just ... be ... awful. I need my own space. My own television. My own computer. My own hours of operation. The only good thing it would do would motivate me to get the hell out.

Then the godforsaken devil (or angel) pipes in and says "if you move back home, you will save money, and you could go back to school for a masters at Youngstown State University ... " which would not only keep me there longer, but put me back in debt again.

I would also miss all of you. I have friends here. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people and I just know if I move away, I will lose those friendships eventually. I will miss going to the grocery store at 2am if I want to, I will miss you guys.

Here I go again with the tears... I don't see any other option. Even if I get a second job the money won't be coming in anytime soon and I need to solve this soon. I think I am just not good at life. I am not talking suicide here, but sometimes I just want to disappear. I don't want to exist anymore. When I look back at my life, all I see is someone taking up space in this world. I read about people who travel the world, and study things and I think that that is what life is all about. Not this shit I am living now. And I will never have that, so why bother anymore? My life was ruined years ago, I just just pack up and leave this life. But I don't. I plow on, living and breathing and feeling like all I am doing is waiting to die.

Yeah, okay. This post is making me more depressed than when I started it. Um, thanks for reading if you did. I don't blame you if you didn't. I thought I could write it out and be done with it, but not today.

If you have any opinions on what you think I should do regarding moving home leave me a comment, email me at my personal email, or contact me through my email posted here. I would love a fresh perspective on the whole mess. Maybe publishing this post will help me see things more clearly, and when I am not so upset I can read it and possibly gain insight. Thanks for reading, I am going to go vomit and cry right now.

WTF???

AWWWW!!! WHAT THE HELL??!!!!

Chloe won Project Runway? Give me a fucking break! Her models looked like a bunch of sick bridesmaids walking down the runway. It is like a prom dress and an 1980's haircut got together and gave birth to her collection. Dayum!

Santino's collection was the nicest, but not very inspiring. And although I heart Daniel V, his collection was kind of boring too. I just wasn't impressed with anybody's collection.

Did ya'll see the online polls they were doing during the show? Did ya'll see how NICK got 80% of the vote as to who should have made it to the top three. Yeah, who do you think helped out with that number, Hmm? I think I voted around 30-35 times. Hee Hee. I don't even care about winning a damn IPod, I just wanted to vote for Nick.

Oh my god my Bitches, I found the most awesome things online the other day. Nick has his own BLOG. Also, his clothing line has a WEBSITE too. I was in hag heaven!! You should totally check it out. I love his clothes.

Ta'!

It's my blog and I'll post when I want to, post when I want to!

Yeah Yeah, I know. It has been forever since I posted. I have been trying to post Before and After pictures of myself from my b-day party, but it isn't working. Many of the pics I am trying to post are not being accepted. Blogger is being a little bitch. Thus, I get pissed off and give up. I think I could really use drugs right about now, MMMKAY??!!

I have been in a really weird funk lately. Sort of depressed, sort of tired, and sort of just worn out. Sometimes I worry I am a little bipolar, somedays I am in a really good mood and others I am so angry/annoyed with life, it frightens me and depresses me. I never used to be this bitter, I used to be the life of the party. The one making everyone laugh, and always doing silly things. Always in a good mood.

Maybe I just have a lot on my mind lately. First of all, a friend of mine is dealing with a possible death in her family, so she is constantly in my thoughts. I tend to be so sensitive to other people that their struggles become mine to a certain (but lesser) extent. I worry about everything -- from making rent, to hurricane Katrina survivors.

Secondly, my upstairs neighbor is driving me homicidal!! Well, not really that bad, but he is annoying the hell out of me. I can't sleep one whole night long without being awoken 5-6 times by his stomping around.

Third, I got that job I was telling ya'll about. However, I won't be able to do it full time which has me bummed. They have two possible shifts, one is 8-5pm and the other is 5-10pm. The first is 40 hours and the latter is only 30. The only way I can work it out is to work at my "real" job from 8-430, then go to this other place from 5-10. I would be exhausted, but be banking money -- which is what I really need, not sleep. The problem is that they are not getting back to me in regards to my shifts. I think that they were unhappy to hear I was going to need to do the evening work. I guess I am just stressing out about how I am going to schedule everything, and I just know that they are going to tell me last minute and I am going to have to beg my "real" job to change my schedule. Whatevs'.

The only somewhat good thing going right now, is also not going so well. The whole online dating thing. First of all, I really feel like a hot bitch!! Every couple of days I get 1 or 2 replies to my post! It has made my self esteem rise, but since I am not a paying member I can not contact these men. WTF? I mean, none of them are paying members either! Why are we even on this stupid site then? I am still debating if I want to save the money and pay the member fee or not. Thank God I don't have to make life or death decisions, since I am having such a hard time deciding how much I am willing to pay to get laid!

I really want to save up my money and buy this here or maybe this here . Two more days and my Nick affair will have to end. I am pathetic crushing on a gay boy.

Sorry this was such a long post, and not very funny. I didn't want to ignore my blog, but I haven't been feeling very funny lately. So I thought depressing you is better than ignoring you. Hee Hee. Hopefully I get back into the swing of things again, don't give up on the blog yet!

PS -- I have been thinking of writing short stories again. I used to do that a lot in High School, but sort of lost the time and desire during college. I am feeling creative again, so if anything I write is any good I will include it here for ya'll to read. Auf Wiedersen!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Holy shizz bitches!! I have had three replies to my online dating ad. Two were from really cute boys. My only problem is that I am too cheap to pay to join, so I can't e-mail these guys.

I am working on a way around it. I feel like a sexy beast baby, yeah.

LOST, Project Runway, and Project Jay are all on tonight so no exciting post yet. Hopefully tomorrow I will get off my fat ass and write a proper post to ya'll.
lates.