Tuesday, September 18, 2007


So, the new job is going really well. I didn't post yesterday because I needed a copy of my birth certificate by this morning, so I had to drive about 1 hour 45 minutes to Lodi, Ohio (Wooster) to pick it up from my folks who also drove 1 hour 45 minutes to meet me there. Needless to say, I was exhausted.

I still haven't gotten enough sleep, so I am not going to post all the boring details of training just yet. My brain is filled to capacity and I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I think I am at that point where I start worrying if I can really do the job or not. Did I make the right decision? I know I just need to plow through those feelings and stick it out. It will get better. I will update you more as I recover and get more time to blog.

I haven't gotten many ideas or opinions on the friendship tattoo yet! I am chomping at the bit to get it done, so please participate. Remember, this is YOUR tattoo. You get to design it. You get to torture me with it.

Have fun and let me know what you think.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Stewed, screwed, and tattooed.

I have done some research and found out that the pink rose symbolizes friendship. Since I love the old sailor style tattoo look, what do you think about some of these ideas?

Remember, this is YOUR tattoo, so help me decide.

I kind of like this second one too. I wouldn't get the heart or the swallow, but I like the idea of the pink rose with a banner underneath. Maybe with "2007", "true friends", "friendship", "hag harem" or something like that written in. The more I look at it, the more I like it. What do you think?


Yeah, So I wasn't yelling in the "screwed, blued and Tattooed" post below. I attempted to put the word "so" in bold and large print but got the rest of the post in bold instead. I tried to but couldn't fucking fix it. Oh well, just know that I didn't intend for it to be loud. Hee hee!

Screwed, blued and tattooed.

Okay, so I was watching L.A. Ink the other night and got inspired. Originally I was going to wait to get a new tattoo until after I lost 25 pounds. Well, I am still not on track with that. Plus, I really want to get a tat of a fat fairy which makes more sense to get when I lose the weight. So, we need to schedule a time so that everyone can come with me to get my new tattoos. Yes, I said tattoos as in more than one!

The first one:
What I had originally thought about getting was the design that is seen on the inside of the door to Bagend in the Lord of the Rings movies. Here is a shot of what it looks like:

I was thinking of getting it on the inside of my wrist in green. So, why this strange idea? Well, first of all, starting a new job is like opening a new door. Also, once I saw the first film of the trilogy I began reading the books and was hooked. It was as if I had discovered my own little fantasy world. My own little "happy place" that I had been wishing for my whole life.

More importantly it inspired me to start writing again and reading more into the world JRR Tolkien created which is just amazing. Having this inked on the inside of my right wrist would symbolize to me the opening of new doors both creatively and spiritually. Had I not taken the leap and applied, I would have never found a new job that will hopefully pull me out of the hole I am in both emotionally and financially. Had I not discovered Tolkien's world, you would probably not be reading this blog right now and I would have lost something that I always loved doing and held so dear -- writing. It is not a fan tattoo as much as it is something deeply personal that was brought out by a book.

The second one:
This one I am going to need your help on. Basically, I want to get something to symbolize the friendships that I have. You have no idea how much you have helped me through this year. It brings tears to my eyes to think about how wonderful my friends have been and how much they have helped me and pulled me through the rough times. I don't think I could have survived (and keep surviving) if it wasn't for you.

Originally I thought about getting something like: H H or H 2007 H . HH for Hag Harem, which is funny but really does cover about 90% of the people who have helped me through everything. However, Hag Harem really doesn't cover them all.

I thought about getting this:

Which is the Chinese symbol of friendship. Although nice, it really doesn't do justice to the love and support I have felt from you all. Plus, Chinese symbols are so cliche. If I have to, I will do it but I really wanted something a little ... more.

SO that means that you bitches have an assignment. Please help me find something to symbolize our friendship. I still sort of like the Hag Harem idea, but I don't want to leave anyone out. Please rack your brains and send me any and all ideas. God knows I am a big girl and all, but I don't have enough room to get all your names tattooed on my ass.

I would also like to take this time to show some love to everyone who has shown me love, kindness, and support throughout this year. I really don't know if I could have survived it without you and I really mean that. I am not just giving out some Hallmark words here. I went through some really dark times and I am not sure I would be here still if it wasn't for the love and support of all of you. In no particular order, I would like to thank:

Tim & Ron, Candy & Matt, Renee, Stephanie, Donna, Anna, Erin, Tamra, Laura, Jamie, Allie, Kathy, Amy Newman, Maggie, Peg, Suzanne, Claudia, and of course my Mom and Dad.

*trust that if I forgot anyone, it was merely an unfortunate and accidental oversight*


Alright, I am no Chris Crocker or anything. However I feel that I need to put my two cents in regarding Ms Spears' VMA performance. Yes, her lip syncing was horrible. Yes, she looked like a drugged up sad stripper.

What really pisses me off is the slack she has been getting about her body. Look at that above picture bitches, she looks awesome! Sure she isn't all ab-licious like she used to be, but her body is fine. I am sorry but this is what real women look like. I am no lesbian, but I prefer my ho's with a little meat on their bones. She looks healthy (well, as long as you don't look in her eyes) and she looks ....NORMAL.

I was seriously pissed off that they same magazines and TV shows that do reports on how scary thin Nicole Richie or the Olsen twins are talking about how fat Britney looks. They are creating an unattainable body ideal for young women everywhere. Should they look healthy like Brit and be called fat, or be anorexic like Richie and be called too thin? Do we want our young women to parade around with confidence in an un-perfect body, or waste away and fade away into a size 00? (check out that link by the way, if you want to be sickened.)

We need to stop attacking young people and celebrities about their bodies. Do I think Kate Moss is too skinny? Maybe. But I also think she is naturally a thin woman. Do I think Britney needs to lose a few pounds? I bet even doctors would agree that she is at a healthy weight for her frame. I just wanted to go on record as saying that I think Britney looks good and people should be ashamed of themselves for beating her up so much and calling her fat. So what if she was fat? Fat is fab it isn't a four letter word! You go Britters!!

Why can't women be allowed to be the shape that they naturally are without designers and tabloids attempting to erase them one pound at at time?!

Friday, September 07, 2007

I never thought I'd see the day

I never thought I would see the day when I could wave goodbye to the job I hate. Well, maybe wave a big fat middle finger. Basically, at my current job, they can not/will not give me full time hours. I made the decision that I had to give up finding my 'dream job' and just find any old job that I could get full time hours and still make a similar salary that I do now. I thought I would never find it.

Like Ron and his new job, this one kind of fell into my lap. I decided to try the Medco company since I have heard wonderful things about them. I really wanted to get out of customer service, but they had an advertisement for a customer service representative so on a whim I decided to apply online. I wasn't really thinking they would ever call. I assumed I would find some seasonal job somewhere and keep struggling.

I applied online with Medco on Tuesday and got a call the same day! Of course, I assumed the number that was calling was a bill collector so I ignored it. I couldn't get a hold of the woman on Wednesday, but talked with her on Thursday. I passed the telephone interview and was asked to come to an interview on Friday (today). I had a 2 hour dentist appointment in the morning, and then went to the interview at 12:30.

3 hours, a mock simulation "exam" and a piss test (drug screen) later, I am now an employee of Medco. Well, as long as my background check goes alright which I am sure it will.

Basically I will be taking customer telephone calls that are coming into this mail order pharmacy company. I will be making $1 more an hour than I am making now. In 90 days I will get another $1 raise. I will have 40 hours with plenty of overtime opportunities. I get full medical, dental and vision insurance plus a $0.00 co-pay on any personal prescriptions that I fill through the company. They offer domestic partner benefits and although I won't need to take advantage of that, I have huge respect for companies that offer it. They have 401k, tuition reimbursement, stock purchase plan, and work at home potential. They also offer monthly bonus opportunities as well!! They may not pay a whole lot, but the benefits are amazing. The people seemed really nice, and I will eventually have my own little cubical to work in (how cool is that?!) I also get paid weekly (on a Thursday) which is sweet! I will also have Sundays off (we are closed) and I haven't had a Sunday off in years!

The only downsides are: I will begin September 17th which means I can't give my current job proper 2 weeks notice. However, like my dad said, they would not hesitate to lay me off with no notice so why worry about them? The other downside is that after a week of training 8:30am-5, I will be working 3:30 - midnight. Blah!! They did make sure to accentuate the fact that the late shift will not be permanent and that within a few months it will get better.

Now I have the difficult task of being strong and confident -- not what I'm good at. I am grappling with so many questions and insecurities!! I know that I have made the jump before when I stepped down as a "Lead," now I just need to find that strength again.
Do I totally quit my current job or do I hang onto a few hours here and there in case Medco falls through?
What if I hate Medco with a passion and want to go back, will they take me?
Do I stay and work 1-2 days a week for extra cash and to keep the discount?
How do I transfer all my medical insurance? How the hell do you do a 401k? What the fuck is a cash balance retirement plan?
Am I going to make new friends there? Make any friends?
What about my friends at my current job? Will I lose them eventually because I won't be seeing them everyday?

Of course, my car broke down on the way home so my high was shit on. However, I really feel like things are looking up for me. I want to thank everyone who have been there for me supporting me and trying to help me find a new job. It was really everybody's good thoughts and positive energy that helped me get this opportunity and I will not let you down.

Bering Sea Bad Boys