Thursday, March 30, 2006

Someone hurt me today.

It hurt my heart. Sorry, no post.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Damn, whatever happened to customer service?

I am aghast!! I thought I was the queen bitch of customer service ...

From Me)

I am the blog contest winner and I think I may have entered my order in wrong. It appears to be charging me the whole amount. What gives?


(From Them) S-,

We thought we told you in the email we sent that the amount comes off the total when we download the order. We apologize if you did not get that msg.


Monday, March 27, 2006

so much to say, so much to say

Hey ya'll. I know I haven't been posting lately, but I really haven't had much to talk about. Well, when it rains it f*cking pours apparently. Cuz I finally have some blog worthy junk.

First of all, I have been recovering from having a tooth pulled. I knew the dentist was going to do it, but I guess I repressed just how damn much that shizz hurts! For whatever reason, the very last tooth on each side of my upper jaw have been no good. The one on the left side broke and I had it pulled a few years back, then this one broke and rotted so I had to yank it too. Eww! I really do take care of my chompers (I promise!!), but for some reason I inherited bad teeth from my dad.

Secondly, I quit my job delivering papers. Here is the funny thing with that: I could have kept it. Basically, for the next three weeks my full-time job schedule was going to prevent me from being able to deliver the papers. After that, I would have been able to do it but I figured why spend my (half) day off working? So, I thought I would just quit and not have to worry about trying to get the route delivered these next three weeks.

Yeah, that didn't go as planned. Apparently when I signed the contract for the paper route, I agreed to give them a month notice of my departure. Damn. This particular project I will be working on part-time is also a month long. So now I have to do the papers (plus full-time job, plus part-time) until my month notice is over, which will also be when this project is over. So, once I CAN deliver the papers I won't have to anymore. F*cking Figures.

Thirdly, you may have been questioning why I put an Archie McPhee link in this post. Well, a while ago I entered my blog in a contest the online store was having. Basically you had to give them a shout out in your blog (or link to them), and then they would pick a winner. I did both, Lo and Behold, I WON THE CONTEST!! I won a $100 shopping spree! Hot damn! I was so excited that I sat down tonight and put in my order. Of course I screwed it up, and now I may be charged $103.92. ...AND... Of course I tried to enter the order again to see if I could fix the problem.

Why don't I learn? I had already 'effed it up the first time, why in the hell would I try it again? I guess I wanted to be charged $103.92 twice! So, now I have to call the customer service in the morning and basically introduce myself as "dumbass contest winner Lothian" and plead for them to fix my mess. Geez!

So, yeah. For some of you the gears and levers in your head started to creak and moan into action when I mentioned that I did my Archie Mcphee shopping tonight. Many of you probably cocked your heads confuseididly (yeah, I made that last word up. So what? It's my blog! bitches.) and cried aloud "Why Lothian, didn't you start your new part-time job tonight at 5pm? What happened?"

Right you are my sharp witted pals! I was supposed to start my new part-time job tonight. But let's see here, this is Lothian's world...therefore things have to be 'effed up. I mean, I was so freaking prepared for this job it wasn't even funny! I slept all day Sunday so that I would be nice and rested for the big day. I quit the paper route, I left early from my full-time job ... hell, I even packed two lunches!

I get there and apparently on Friday afternoon the building had some sort of emergency plumbing problem. I don't know exactly what happened -- things were exploding and the shit had hit the fan (no pun intended). I don't know, all I know is that they cancelled the training for us tonight. Apparently everything is good to go for tomorrow and should be back to normal, but we only got paid for an hour today (for driving there and back). Of course these things only happen to me!

So I stopped at Taco Hell and got a burrito, sat down and wrote out this mini novel to you fine folks. I am sorry to say that blogging will be at a bare minimum from here on out (as long as no more plumbing issues arise) since I will be working about 12-13 hours a day M-F. So send me good thoughts, and I will try to post Wednesday and let ya'll know how the training is going and if I am surviving. Peace out.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Being lazy

Yeah, I haven't posted in a while and for that I apologize. I will try my best to write to ya'll either tomorrow or Wednesday. Until then, enjoy this link I recently found. I peed a little when I saw it.

The press release from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of Southpark in regards to Tom Cruise trying to ruin all that is hilarious.

Also check out this awesome skit from SNL: Geek Phone Sex

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

just put on a happy face ...

Wow! Things are starting to look up for me again. You were right Kim! Anyway, I just want to thank everyone for sending me all that positive energy. People talk about the power of prayer, it must really work.

<-- I don't feel like that photo anymore. I found out that I will be getting a decent income tax check in a month or so, which I can apply to some of my debt. I also just found out today that I will be able to work the night shifts at that job I was telling everyone about. That means if my "real job" allows it, I will work from 8-4:30 there and then 5-10:15 at this other place. I really think/hope I can handle the hours.

The chick on the phone said that the first assignment will run until the end of April or so. That means (if my calculations are correct -- ya'll know math ain't ma' thing) I will bank around 120 hours, at $11.20/hr. So, after taxes I am looking at around $1300 or $1250. Then I will have a few weeks off until the next assignment. I am thinking of continuing to deliver the paper since I will have time where I won't have any extra money coming in.

I am feeling pretty good about the whole shebang. Hopefully I won't go into work tomorrow and have them tell me they refuse to work around my new availability...

Oh!! I have to tell you this embarrassing story! So, I have been noticing that one of my teeth/gum areas have been hurting. If you read my blog you will remember all the drama and dollar signs I had with one of my molars, and THAT was the tooth area that was hurting.

So, I am brushing my teeth the other night and I decide to get a flashlight and start exploring around in my chasm. I mean my mouth, you sick bastards! Anyway, Lo and behold my gums are turning black right around the tooth that I had my crown put on! I freak the fuck out and call my dentist. They agree to see me the next day. So I go in, spread my lips ... My Mouth Lips, you Horn Dogs! ... and the doc peers inside.

He is silent for a minute, and then clears his throat. I prepare myself for the inevitable bad news. "Um Lothian" he says, "all you are seeing is the bottom of your crown, which is METAL. The pain is probably just something stuck under your gum. If you flossed more than once a year you wouldn't have that problem. Your tooth is fine and so is your gum. You dumbass." Okay, maybe I added the dumbass part. But basically the inside of my crown is metal and was showing through making things appear blackened. My gum wasn't dying and about to fall off. And I didn't have mouth cancer. I just had a bad case of dumbassitis.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Blah Bletch Blog

Happy Birthday Bitch.

My space

not much to say, so I am working on setting up a myspace. Why? I haven't a clue. I think I am just excited to be able to have a song play while you check out the site. Man! I wish blogger did that shizz!

Check out My Space right herr.

Thursday, March 09, 2006


These guys should take care of the last few depressing posts I left for you. Kind of old photos, but so damn cute anyway.


I worried that I may have depressed ya'll too much. So here is Mr. ChiTurkey. He always makes me smile.

Having a breakdown

Um, you can read this if you want or don't. I am just having a minor breakdown at the moment and I thought maybe writing it out would help. Of course taking my medication would probably help too damn it!

So, I didn't sleep for shit last night. I think I have just gotten myself on a weird sleep schedule where I don't go to bed until 3am and then sleep until 3 in the afternoon. I close tonight at work, so I am delivering my papers early this morning. Other than tossing and turning all night, everything was fine until about 8:50 when my phone rings and caller ID shows it is from "unavailable". That only means one person -- creditors. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't get it out of my head and ended up in tears. I am up to my asshole in debt.

I know many if not all of you are in the same boat, but I don't think I can handle it anymore. I can't even pay my $250 minimum payment on my Mastercard bill. I couple of years ago, I took out money from the bank to pay my bills and look where I am again ... I already told you guys I worry about EVERYTHING and this is no exception.

I had to have my father co-sign or co-apply for my bank loan otherwise they would not have given it to me. I don't want to fuck with his credit!! I don't live extravagantly, so I can't even think of what to cut out of my life to help with the problem. I have been dragging my feet changing cable companies, but that would only save me about $20 bucks a week. I am afraid this other job I am getting is not going to work out either. I just worry about scheduling!! Before I worried about being exhausted, but fuck that now. I can't take it anymore.

What I have looming over my head is becoming more and more of a possibility. Moving back home. Home is a very small town in Youngstown Ohio. Right now I am in Columbus. My mother would be so fucking excited if I moved back. She has been trying to convince me to do it for years. If I moved back in with my folks I would save money on rent. I work one of those jobs where transferring is not too big of a deal -- there is a store in Ytown too.

I have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other kind of thing going here. On one hand, I guess I think moving back home would be a solve all solution. It most likely would help, but not solve everything. I DO miss my family, but they also drive me crazy.

On the other hand, moving back home would make me even more depressed than I already am. I would feel like and absolute failure. Also, I love living by myself and living at home would just ... be ... awful. I need my own space. My own television. My own computer. My own hours of operation. The only good thing it would do would motivate me to get the hell out.

Then the godforsaken devil (or angel) pipes in and says "if you move back home, you will save money, and you could go back to school for a masters at Youngstown State University ... " which would not only keep me there longer, but put me back in debt again.

I would also miss all of you. I have friends here. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people and I just know if I move away, I will lose those friendships eventually. I will miss going to the grocery store at 2am if I want to, I will miss you guys.

Here I go again with the tears... I don't see any other option. Even if I get a second job the money won't be coming in anytime soon and I need to solve this soon. I think I am just not good at life. I am not talking suicide here, but sometimes I just want to disappear. I don't want to exist anymore. When I look back at my life, all I see is someone taking up space in this world. I read about people who travel the world, and study things and I think that that is what life is all about. Not this shit I am living now. And I will never have that, so why bother anymore? My life was ruined years ago, I just just pack up and leave this life. But I don't. I plow on, living and breathing and feeling like all I am doing is waiting to die.

Yeah, okay. This post is making me more depressed than when I started it. Um, thanks for reading if you did. I don't blame you if you didn't. I thought I could write it out and be done with it, but not today.

If you have any opinions on what you think I should do regarding moving home leave me a comment, email me at my personal email, or contact me through my email posted here. I would love a fresh perspective on the whole mess. Maybe publishing this post will help me see things more clearly, and when I am not so upset I can read it and possibly gain insight. Thanks for reading, I am going to go vomit and cry right now.



Chloe won Project Runway? Give me a fucking break! Her models looked like a bunch of sick bridesmaids walking down the runway. It is like a prom dress and an 1980's haircut got together and gave birth to her collection. Dayum!

Santino's collection was the nicest, but not very inspiring. And although I heart Daniel V, his collection was kind of boring too. I just wasn't impressed with anybody's collection.

Did ya'll see the online polls they were doing during the show? Did ya'll see how NICK got 80% of the vote as to who should have made it to the top three. Yeah, who do you think helped out with that number, Hmm? I think I voted around 30-35 times. Hee Hee. I don't even care about winning a damn IPod, I just wanted to vote for Nick.

Oh my god my Bitches, I found the most awesome things online the other day. Nick has his own BLOG. Also, his clothing line has a WEBSITE too. I was in hag heaven!! You should totally check it out. I love his clothes.


Monday, March 06, 2006

It's my blog and I'll post when I want to, post when I want to!

Yeah Yeah, I know. It has been forever since I posted. I have been trying to post Before and After pictures of myself from my b-day party, but it isn't working. Many of the pics I am trying to post are not being accepted. Blogger is being a little bitch. Thus, I get pissed off and give up. I think I could really use drugs right about now, MMMKAY??!!

I have been in a really weird funk lately. Sort of depressed, sort of tired, and sort of just worn out. Sometimes I worry I am a little bipolar, somedays I am in a really good mood and others I am so angry/annoyed with life, it frightens me and depresses me. I never used to be this bitter, I used to be the life of the party. The one making everyone laugh, and always doing silly things. Always in a good mood.

Maybe I just have a lot on my mind lately. First of all, a friend of mine is dealing with a possible death in her family, so she is constantly in my thoughts. I tend to be so sensitive to other people that their struggles become mine to a certain (but lesser) extent. I worry about everything -- from making rent, to hurricane Katrina survivors.

Secondly, my upstairs neighbor is driving me homicidal!! Well, not really that bad, but he is annoying the hell out of me. I can't sleep one whole night long without being awoken 5-6 times by his stomping around.

Third, I got that job I was telling ya'll about. However, I won't be able to do it full time which has me bummed. They have two possible shifts, one is 8-5pm and the other is 5-10pm. The first is 40 hours and the latter is only 30. The only way I can work it out is to work at my "real" job from 8-430, then go to this other place from 5-10. I would be exhausted, but be banking money -- which is what I really need, not sleep. The problem is that they are not getting back to me in regards to my shifts. I think that they were unhappy to hear I was going to need to do the evening work. I guess I am just stressing out about how I am going to schedule everything, and I just know that they are going to tell me last minute and I am going to have to beg my "real" job to change my schedule. Whatevs'.

The only somewhat good thing going right now, is also not going so well. The whole online dating thing. First of all, I really feel like a hot bitch!! Every couple of days I get 1 or 2 replies to my post! It has made my self esteem rise, but since I am not a paying member I can not contact these men. WTF? I mean, none of them are paying members either! Why are we even on this stupid site then? I am still debating if I want to save the money and pay the member fee or not. Thank God I don't have to make life or death decisions, since I am having such a hard time deciding how much I am willing to pay to get laid!

I really want to save up my money and buy this here or maybe this here . Two more days and my Nick affair will have to end. I am pathetic crushing on a gay boy.

Sorry this was such a long post, and not very funny. I didn't want to ignore my blog, but I haven't been feeling very funny lately. So I thought depressing you is better than ignoring you. Hee Hee. Hopefully I get back into the swing of things again, don't give up on the blog yet!

PS -- I have been thinking of writing short stories again. I used to do that a lot in High School, but sort of lost the time and desire during college. I am feeling creative again, so if anything I write is any good I will include it here for ya'll to read. Auf Wiedersen!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Holy shizz bitches!! I have had three replies to my online dating ad. Two were from really cute boys. My only problem is that I am too cheap to pay to join, so I can't e-mail these guys.

I am working on a way around it. I feel like a sexy beast baby, yeah.

LOST, Project Runway, and Project Jay are all on tonight so no exciting post yet. Hopefully tomorrow I will get off my fat ass and write a proper post to ya'll.