Morons

So, as many of you know we had tornado warnings all around Columbus tonight. A full on, Meterologist getting a boner, sirens blaring, tornado warning.

Of course I was working tonight at the store. Not where I envisioned my last day on this earth, however not surprising that I would die somewhere that dreams of ripping the life out of my soul and shitting on the withered remains.

I got off track, my point is this. Much like the assholes to my left, no one in the store seemed to care. Now, I was not worried and in fact found the whole thing kind of fun. However once I saw the stupid Oprah watching, SUV driving, soccer mom idiots bringing their kids into the store I had enough.

Okay, so you are lost in a good book and do not notice the sirens blaring in your ear -- fine. You are a fearless moron whose last wish is to die at a bookstore reading Penthouse letters and sucking on a venti Java Chip Frappuchino -- fine. You are afraid of the storm and think it safer to stay inside than try to drive in the terrifying drizzle -- fine. But if you are a bored parent who can't stand a single moment more in the company of your drippy, smelly kids -- take them to the bookstore and hope to God you get blown away in the process?

These are the same idiots who are surprised when their house on wheels goes sailing past the local Walmart with them still inside.

(newscaster): "So Jim Bob, when did you decide the situation was too dangerous and that you needed to get somewhere safe?"

*spits out his tobaccy and scratches his balls*

"Wall Mizz Chong, I done thunk eet 'twas bad whan mah trayleeor started a-shakin' an movin' all by it's lonesome. I says to mah sistah who also be mah wife, I says 'jewdie, we bess get on up outta here. Dis bitch gonna blow 'way'. So, we done ran up da heel thar to mah uncle's house. He got one of them thar basements. We done got thar just in time tah see mah fav-or-ite prize heffer Lucy go sailin' by. Boy, I tells ya Mizz Chong -- I's never thunk this evah done happen tah me. I's as sue-prized as mah daddy/brother was when I was done born with these here flippers. Shoo-ee, Boy!!"

PS-- the links I put in this post might be of interest clicking on. Wink, Wink. Nudge, Nudge.