Things have reached their breaking point with me. I am having a bit of an emotional breakdown and I can't promise when I will be back to update everyone. The only good thing I can tell you is that I am not suicidal, just very very sad. I may end up taking a leave of absence from work so that I can explore what is medically and/or mentally wrong with with me. This state of mind has been a long time brewing and I have finally given in.
I used to find solace writing about my feelings in my blog and what has me so upset with my life. However, it never really ended up helping. I am very unhappy with my job, however so many people are without one that I can't justify complaining. My life is better off than some, and I just can't express my pain in a public forum anymore because I am embarrassed that I can't get it together. No one wants to read someone complain all day long.
I always seem to have drama over the weekends and this is no different. I haven't left my apartment in 3 days, calling off work 2 of those days. Although the tears won't stop, I am dragging myself in today. Sunday will be spent researching doctors/therapists who can hopefully help me.
I appreciate everyone's love and support throughout the years. I will post with updates as much as I can. Don't call, only text message or e-mail as I am not up to talking. Please don't worry about me as I really hope that someday a lotus will bloom from all this muck and murk.