Saturday, March 14, 2009

Mental health

Things have reached their breaking point with me. I am having a bit of an emotional breakdown and I can't promise when I will be back to update everyone. The only good thing I can tell you is that I am not suicidal, just very very sad. I may end up taking a leave of absence from work so that I can explore what is medically and/or mentally wrong with with me. This state of mind has been a long time brewing and I have finally given in.

I used to find solace writing about my feelings in my blog and what has me so upset with my life. However, it never really ended up helping. I am very unhappy with my job, however so many people are without one that I can't justify complaining. My life is better off than some, and I just can't express my pain in a public forum anymore because I am embarrassed that I can't get it together. No one wants to read someone complain all day long.

I always seem to have drama over the weekends and this is no different. I haven't left my apartment in 3 days, calling off work 2 of those days. Although the tears won't stop, I am dragging myself in today. Sunday will be spent researching doctors/therapists who can hopefully help me.

I appreciate everyone's love and support throughout the years. I will post with updates as much as I can. Don't call, only text message or e-mail as I am not up to talking. Please don't worry about me as I really hope that someday a lotus will bloom from all this muck and murk.


streetvixn said...

Do what you gotta do, girl. Just know that we love you and would do anything for you. Please let us know if there is anything you need, or any way we can help. While I don't know what you are feeling, I do know how dark things can get. I have been there. I have my own personal demons that pop up every once in a while and bring me down so deep, it is a struggle to get back up. But, the one thing that has helped tremendously is surrounding myself with people who love me and make the struggle easier. We are always here for you whenever you need us. Love you!

Timron1999 said...

If you need anything, please call me. I'm always there for you. Remember that Tim and I love you, along with Baxter, Slocombe, and even Caliope (that bitch). Get well soon.

Lothian said...

Vixen: Thank you for sharing, I know I can count on you to be there. I will keep you posted.

Ron: I love you all too. Be careful what you wish for, I think I still have a key to your house. I may have another crisis and you may wake up one morning with me and Baxter snuggled up between you and Tim in bed.

Alaska Steve said...

Lothian, I hope things get better for you soon. I've been down before in my life and I know the only way back up is one baby step at a time. (((hug)))