Thursday, December 22, 2005


(It may take a while, but you'll eventually get the title)

I had every intention of making two very poignant posts today for ya'll. Then I started baking holiday cookies to take home with me Friday, and now I am ASS DEEP in baking soda and chocolate. So yet again I am faltering on my job as blog bitch.

I will be on hiatus (get it? wink, wink. nudge, nudge.) for about a week as I will be home visiting the fam damily in Youngstown. Murder capital of Ohio. Nice. Anyway, my parents have not yet eased themselves into the modern times and hooked up to a computer with internet access. Thus, the crazy disfunctional family posts will have to wait until the new year.

Alas, I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday!! Please be safe if you are driving, and please drink yourself into a stupor if you are not. Remember, your family is something you can never escape from, so don't even try. Enjoy yourselves and be blessed!

A very merry Christmas to:
Erin Bob and Viggo, Kristine and Susan, Tim and Ron, Colleen and Rob, Amy and Todd, Peg George Andrew and Rose, Stephanie, Renee, Maggie and Nate, Amy, LeeAnne Jeff and Charlotte, All my Polaris Peeps, Matt Elisa and the new boy Auggie, The sweet old lady that I deliver papers to, Liz, Miss Pat, Georgene, Donna, Brad Cope, Jackie, The D&D Master and his girlfriend who live in my complex, Kate, Ada, The Pugs and Golden Retrievers that brightened up these past few weeks, Any Dublin Peeps I may still like, Beth, Rachel, Kona, the little old man that lives in my apartment complex, my old postman (but not the new bitch that won't pick up my Netflix DVD's), and .... Yeah.
And to anyone else I am forgetting -- peace, tinsel, and chocolate bon bons to you too. It isn't like it is my Oscar speech or something, Geez!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

so sweepie!

I found this shot on Google and it is just so cute! This is completely how I feel today. I am worn the 'eff out!! Work was crazy, the holidaze are coming, and I have tons of work to do before I venture home to see the fam damily. So unfortunately this will be a short post tonight. I am headed to bed soon, as long as there is no drama in my apartment complex tonight.

In leiu of a proper post, here is a link to a fun little holiday game. It is Quite addicting like Tetris.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


So. I couldn't add any of the images I wanted to so I decided to add this cute pic of a pug on holiday. It is in honor of the Pug Rescue organization that did the gift wrapping for us today in the store. Today was hellish. We were so busy! Apparently people have just now realized that Christmas is a week away. I swear to Goddess, all of these people...They use up all their brain cells trying to decide what flavor Frappachino they want and then they ask me stupid questions. Here was my day today:
C-"I am looking for a book that has the word "power" in the title. "
ME-Do you know the author?
ME-Do you know what type of book it is?
ME-I can't do a search for just the word -power- it would give me hundreds of results. Do you have anymore information?
C-"NO! I mean, it has a green cover and is about this big."
ME-Oh, THAT book! How could I be so stupid? I mean, why didn't you tell me it was green? We keep all of our green books right over here. They are organized by size.

I mean come on people! You are staring at the keypad that you swipe your credit card on, we have a button that says for credit card purchase press here, and you STILL ask "this is credit, what do I do?" or my personal favorite, "Its credit. Should I press this button here?" No bitch you have to recite the alphabet backwards, cook a vegtable quiche and belch your full name all while standing on your head! THAT is how you run your card as a credit.

Another great one today was the people standing right by our sign that says GIFT WRAPPING AVAILABLE and they precede to ask me if we have gift wrapping...No. No we don't. Sorry. That sign is a dirty filthy lie.

How do these people get out of bed in the morning? How do they even manage to drive to our store, they are so stupid? Don't get me wrong, there were some very nice people and as a whole the nasty folks stayed home today. It is just the pure inability to think for themselves that always amazes me. Sometimes I just want to tell them, "you know, that book you got there? Team of Rivals? Yeah, that's gonna be a little above your reading level. Why don't we get you the new Spongebob Squarepants book? It will be a bit of a challenge, but I think you can handle it."

And don't get me started on Oprah/anti-Christ and her drones/sheep. These women have no idea. Just none. I can't. I can't even go there right now. Thanks for listening bitches! Talk to you L8TER.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Miso Sari

Sorry for not writing for a couple of days. I got my tooth done on Tuesday and have been bitchy with pain ever since. I haven't been up to posting anything new.

Not ironically, in these few days many things have happened to add to my blog. You know, the usual -- cops and possible dead bodies in my apartment complex...

Anyway, more about that tomorrow. I hope to do some Christmas shopping tomorrow after work so I am sure I will be back to my crab-ass-ness in no time. Ugh! Happy Fu*king Holidays. Or as Dennis Leary said, "this year there will be no partridge in a pear tree. Unless Danny Bonaduce decides to hang himself."

PS- I just figured out how to link to other folks sites through my own, so I will be adding some of my favorites soon. Feel free to email me some of your favorites too. I already added Pink is the New Blog -- check it out, I love it!!
PPS- I keep using these images off of the web and am not sure if I am doing it legally, so if anyone knows a good lawyer let me know.

Oh Colin, Painkillers? I'm sure your pain is nothing a little of my sexual healing can't fix.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Thank you, thank you very much

Thanks so much to all my posse for checking out my blog and supporting me on this journey!

I am too tired tonight to post anything even remotely witty or amusing. So, at the urging of Ron ( my favorite gay ) I am posting a picture of my celebrity boyfriend/sex slave Colin Farrell.

Ahh, Can't you just smell the burbon and Marlboros? Smells heavenly.

(I wish there was some tongue) The bitching will return tommarrow. So get comfy boys and girls and miss lothian will soon tell you the tale of the broken monitor.

Sleep tight bitches. But you better not be havin' No sexy dreams about my man though.

PS--My very own version of the infamous "celebrity boyfriends list" that Ron created at Blah Blah Blog, will soon also be featured here. Be ready for some manlyness.

Thanks to Dlisted -- I stole your picture. you rock.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Holey Moley

So, I have revisited the idea of keeping a blog. Too many insane things happen to me to not share with the world. I mean, I think I am the walking example of Murphy's Law -- if it could happen, it will happen to me! Let's start from today, and in the next few days I will tell you about the other crazy things that have happened to prompt this blog.Okay, today wake up late as usual and begrudgingly get ready for work. I grab a couple a granola bars and off I go. I'm cruising at a cool 75 mph on I71, rockin to the radio. My stomach tells me that in my attention to the road I have forgotten the granola bars. I carefully open my bag and pull out a chocolate and peanut butter bar of good health and unwrap it. All while going 75 mind you. I bite into the goodness and begin to chew. All of a sudden I feel a crunch. Granola is not this crunchy folks.WTF? I mumble with a mouthful of not-so-goodness-anymore. It is my damn tooth! Yes, that is right, the $1,000 crown/cap thingie that I had plastered into my mouth two years ago is now sitting in my gloved hand. I pull into work, tell them my situation. Yeah, I work RETAIL and it is a SATURDAY two weeks before CHRISTMAS! They were 'effing thrilled with me. Thankfully I was able to make an emergency appointment with the dentist that day. Of course he can't fix it today, oh no! That would be too convenient, cheap and pain free to just cement the MFer back in place. No, there has to be screws and pins involved in here someplace. So, my day off will now be filled with white knuckles and novicane. On the bright side, Doc is doing the replacement for free ($800+ bucks) and all I will have to pay is about $200. Which for a girl with only about $300 bucks to her name, and about $30,000 bucks of debt - this is a big deal. But such is a day in the life of me.