Thursday, January 05, 2006

Oy Vey! Youse got a potty mouf!



I think this woman is my personal logo! Look at her, she is so bitter! Anyway, let me explain. I haven't been posting since I have returned from vacation because I have been suffering a bout of Diverticulitis.

What the hell is that, you ask? Well, you see, over the year's our colon gets tired of all the work it does day in and day out. (or if you are like me, once every few days.) The colon herniates in certain areas from pressure, strain or/and age. These hernia's (called Diverticuli) are like little pockets. Imagine a snake eating a couple of apples -- that's how it looks.

So, these pockets can get food/waste product from food trapped in them. People who have these diverticuli are encouraged to not eat things like nuts, corn, popcorn, etc -- all those lovely things our body doesn't digest and comes out in our poop. When these things don't come out in the john, they get stuck in the pockets causing large amounts of pain and inflammation of the colon. Most of the time there is nothing for me to do but suffer through the pain and wait for the pockets to clean themselves out.

If the inflammation (aka: bouts of diverticulitis) is too frequent and debilitating, then surgery is necessary to remove these pockets before they rupture. Thankfully that is not in my near future as long as I take care of myself to prevent further diverticuli from forming or worsening. Yeah, sure...I'm gonna cut out caffeine, chocolate, and dairy. I don't flipping think so!

This is something that is pretty common in older adults, say 60+ years, because they have been pooping for so many years that the hernia's are just naturally there. Their colons are just worn out, so to speak. Which of course explains why I have it, being 27 years old and all...{enter sarcasm here} To prevent these flare-ups I drink so much water that I slosh when I walk. I eat enough fiber to keep the sewage companies happy. (okay, that was a little gross) I mean geez, I am a vegetarian plus I have to increase my fiber intake? I feel like I am like a goddamn Koala Bear, eating leaves all day!

Despite my prevention I am having a flare up, which to make a long post even longer, is why I haven't jumped back into full gear with my posts. I am beginning to feel better, so expect a new year's resolution list to be up soon. Feel free to leave comments on what your resolutions are and I will post them with mine. This way, if I know you folks are watching me I might stick them.

So, I hope you learned something new today. Now you can't say I never taught you bitches anything. Here's to good eats, and good sheetz!!

No comments: