She only goes about 2 mph, but she's no lemon!

Hello all! I thought I would devote a little posty-post on my walking /weight loss/ healthy living journey. Thanks to Donna I am keeping up with things so far. She is definitely my motivation and is giving me some great advice!

So, I went to Tar-Jay today and did something I never thought I would do. I bought a bathroom scale! Yep, that is right. I will be weighing myself regularly. I never thought I would ever care enough about vanity to check my weight on a regular basis.

However, I have been reading up on this walking thing and getting some important information on creating walking programs. Apparently it is a good thing to set goals for yourself. I think keeping track of my weight will help me motiviate myself to keep getting out there.
(Of course, when I weighed myself on the new scale and it said I was 5 pounds heavier than the doctor's office told me! I still think I am losing, so I am trying to not let the "number game" get to me.)

I have to admit it, I don't really mind the walking thing. Of course I hate to exercise, and hate to sweat. Some days I really have to fight myself through it and fight against everything in my body telling me to stop and quit. I typically have to drag myself out of the house to go walking (unless I am going with a buddy, then I am fine. Go figure? I think I get bored all alone).

However, once I finish I feel really good about myself. The sweat is pouring and the heart is pounding, but it feels good (maybe it just feels good to be DONE!) I miss it if I don't do it, just like I miss and feel "off" if I don't drink massive amounts of water everyday -- I am pretty much only drinking water now.
(By the way, caffeine is almost completely gone out of my life for good. I don't use it unless it is a dire emergency, and then in major moderation. I maybe consume 1-2 cups of coffee or soda a week. My heart thanks me for that! It has made a huge improvement in the palpitations.)

I am proud that I am sticking to things ... even though it has only been two weeks!

I feel really good since I started becoming more active. I have more energy and sleep way better. I even feel a little more in tune with my body. How do I explain what I mean by that? Well, I think most fat people (yes, I am not afraid of the F-word) don't really see themselves as fat. They have no connection to their bodies -- no realization just how big they are. Then, once you see a picture of yourself, or you can't fit into a theater seat, you are thrust back into reality and it is painful!

Since I started walking and have been noticing little minor (positive) changes in my body, I have become more conscious of it. Maybe even a little more loving towards it. I am not a skinny girl looking out of a fat body. I am aware of my size, and am living in my body. I don't know how else to explain it, but I think most of you understand.

I still have bad body image days, but these little improvements that only I can see are lifting my spirits and helping me to keep up with the program. If I can see these changes with very little work, imagine what I can could happen if I push myself! Right now I am starting out slow and doing the bare minimum -- 3 days a week, 30 minutes a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. A lot of the programs I have been reading up on suggested 15 minutes everyday. However, since I am focused on cardio health, I really believe keeping my heart pumping for a good 30 minutes is much better. I still try to fit in something everyday -- a little walk around our huge (about 1/2 mile around) building at work during breaks, park further away from store entrances, taking the stairs, power shopping, etc.

I can do a mile in about 25-30 minutes. I can do two miles in an hour. For many people, that is not very much but to me it is amazing! I am trying to not let the exercise demons get into my head ("a mile is nothing!", "a woman your age should be able to do more", "You are only exercising 3 times a week?!") . I think we are our worst enemy in all of this!

GOALS! So, now I have to set some goals. Everything I have read has said that telling yourself "I just want to get healthy" is not good enough. You need measurable goals. Plus you need rewards. Well fuck if I can think of anything!! I can think of BIG rewards for BIG goals ( ie: lose 100 pounds = a trip to Alaska, lose 20 = new tattoo, etc) But I think I need little goals and little rewards. I know I won't be able to see the 'big picture' and keep fighting toward such huge and far away goals -- I will just get discouraged/bored and quit.

I know that I would like to work up to exercising every single day for about 30 minutes. I would also like to work up to doing it at longer intervals (hour maybe two) and more miles. But, what is a realistic time frame to achieve this? How do I reward myself for meeting these goals? I don't think a hot fudge sundae will work.


**Help me out bitches, send me some of your suggestions!**
If I like 'em, I will post them and keep everyone updated as to how close I am to the goal. Now is your chance to punish me, my little mistresses!!