Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter, Ya'll.

Introducing the Kia Rondo!!

There is my new pretty car! I don't have a name yet for it, and I haven't decided whether it is a male or female. Post your ideas on car names and I may chose it!!

There is her booty. She is so shiny and clean. I hope she stays that way, damn it.

The long shot of the Rondo. Everyone is teasing me that it is a soccer mom car and I need to have some kids to fill it up with. I think I will just fill it up with hot men.

A blurry photo of me with my new wheels. I suppose it is nice that the photo is blurry as I had just got out of bed and didn't have any makeup on. Yikes!

My car buying co-pilot. My daddy. I don't think I would have been able to make a decision without him. It was so nice to have him here to help. Isn't he a cutie?!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Oh, It's coming bitches!! April 15th, baby!!

If you all miss out on it this year, don't blame me cuz I am letting you newbies know now.

April 15th.
Discovery Channel.

Deadliest "mutha fuckin" Catch!
ooh, my nipples are hard.

Rock and ...What!? (Trying to make myself smile in the wake of all this car drama)

Cars That Go Boom
by L'Trimm

So many kinds, where can we start?
we like them dumb and we like them smart.
I like the ones with the pretty eyes,
Well i like all kinds of guys.
Stop. What happened, how about the ones we especially like?
Which ones?
You know the ones with the cars that go..
I hear you..
Hit it!

It was me and the posse with Bunny (D)
We were cruising in the Jags and the Lambourgini,
When low and behold there appeared a mirage,
He was hooking up a car in his daddy's garage.
We stopped short, did a double take,
He was looking so fly, I thought I wasn't awake.
He was obviously hooking up bass, I asume,
But then he turned a little button and the car went boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

We like them short, and we like them tall,
We like them one, and we like them all.
They're always adding speakers when they find the room,
Cuz they know we like the guys with the cars that go boom.
And see my boyfriend really knows where it's at,
He's got 50 inch woofers all along the back.
He makes a comment on going to my room,
But I'd rather stay out with his car that goes boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

Now if your car ain't got it, go out and get it,
We like the boom and don't you forget it.
So turn down the treble, and flaunt your bass,
So your car can be heard almost any place.
Cuz when you're in the street you can't go far,
Without hearing the boom pouring out your car.
So if your speaker's weak, then please turn it off,
Coz we like the cars that sound so tough.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

Everybody just beep your horn
Everybody just beep your horn if you hear us,
Now clap!
Hit it!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!
Come on everybody!
Hey, hey hey hey hey!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!
{beat continues......}

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Chuck Norris Song - Dave and Jimmy

No video, but the song cracks me up! The 'idiots' I listen to on the radio every morning made this. Ha Ha! What is your favorite Chuck Norris fact? I like the grinding his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with rage. That's how it do!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Rock and ...What!?

Bruce Springsteen

*I am including this because my sister sent me the link and because it is where I am originally from*

Here in north east Ohio
Back in eighteen-o-three
James and Danny Heaton
Found the ore that was linin' yellow creek
They built a blast furnace
Here along the shore
And they made the cannon balls
That helped the union win the war

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

Well my daddy worked the furnaces
Kept 'em hotter than hell
I come home from 'Nam worked my way to scarfer
A job that'd suit the devil as well
Taconite, coke and limestone
Fed my children and made my pay
Then smokestacks reachin' like the arms of god
Into a beautiful sky of soot and clay

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

Well my daddy come on the Ohio works
When he come home from world war two
Now the yards just scrap and rubble
He said, "Them big boys did what Hitler couldn't do"
These mills they built the tanks and bombs
That won this country's wars
We sent our sons to Korea and Vietnam
Now we're wondering what they were dyin' for

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

From the Monongahela valley
To the Mesabi iron range
To the coal mines of Appalacchia
The story's always the same
Seven-hundred tons of metal a day
Now sir you tell me the world?s changed
Once I made you rich enough
Rich enough to forget my name

In Youngstown
In Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

When I die I don't want no part of heaven
I would not do heavens work well
I pray the devil comes and takes me
To stand in the fiery furnaces of hell

It's a snow day miracle, Timmy!

So, I went to bed last night looking at this:

I woke up to find this:

The snow fairies were hard at work last night I see! Actually, I am pretty sure it was Casey and Nate - two guys who struck up a conversation with me yesterday while I was snapping pictures and checking out the damage.

What kindness!! They didn't tell me they were going to do this, and I never even hinted that I secretly had no fucking clue how I was going to clean all that snow off my car without a shovel. Since I don't know where they live, I am going to have to put up a poster thank you in the lobby so they know their good deed did not go unrecognized.

I feel like "the pretty girl". You know the one, the bitch that men bend over backwards to help out just because they are attractive. The girl that never has to open doors for herself, change her own tire, or clean the snow off her car.

They were cute too. I wonder what I could do to pay them back? Something warm and fuzzy for their cold prickly's perhaps? OH, THAT WAS FILTHY!!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Picture extravamaganza! Columbus Ohio has a blizzard.

Never mind the dates on the pictures, they are all wrong. Poor Mr. Four wheel drive attempted to leave the parking lot today. He failed.

Picture taken looking outside my window. For once it was not good being on the bottom floor! I even have the screen up in this picture -- the snow ain't moving.

The "Sanford and Son" truck I hate so much. He couldn't help poor Scarlet from any drifting snow, that's for sure!

More pictures of poor Scarlet being covered in snow, and the view out my window.

Last night I cleaned about a foot of snow off my car. Apparently it snowed a little bit during the night. I had to leave that little snow Mohawk on the her roof because I couldn't reach the top. Now she has a Poor little cone head

When folk use the term "blanket of snow" I think this is what they mean.

Reaching out my window and touching the snow. Normally, I can't get anywhere near the ground, even with my ape arms.

The front of my complex. As you can see, the snow is about the height of the bushes there. Pretty, but a mess.

The ass-end of everyone's car here at the complex. This is the side that faces the building. You can't even tell they are actually cars underneath there!

As you can see, Columbus had a bit of snow. I think we ranged anywhere from 10-14 inches. I put the call out to some of my friends to post their pictures, so I will be posting some of those tomorrow. It has been a while since we had this much snow, and I have never been in a situation where the snow went all the way up to my knees!!

It is very beautiful, but I was required to work today and was terrified about driving in this weather. I ended up calling in -- it wasn't worth dying in an accident. Most places in Central Ohio were under either a level 2 or 3 snow emergency. In a level 3, you will be ticketed if you attempt to drive. I think what solidified my decision to not go out was watching the news and seeing NO ONE on the roads and hearing that most accidents were semi's crashing. If the professionals can't drive in it, Ms. Two Door Dodge Neon can't either. Plus, the snow come up to the top of my tires, so even if I wanted to, she wasn't going to budge.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Because it was a rough morning. (sorta NSFW)

Colin Farrell in all his Oscar glory.

Another one of Colin, just because.

Ryan Reynolds. Shirtless. Do I need a reason to post this?

Angelina Jolie is a twig, I could totally crush her.

Dominic Monaghan. Just one wish: My favorite Hobbit, LOST with me on a deserted island.

David Beckham in his panties. Not stuffed.

Adrien Brody: A fine actor. A fine piece of ass.

007? How about 911?

Becks again. Just because he is nude.

Javier Bardem. And to think I found totally nude shots and I didn't post them!

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Where the hell have I been?

Yeah, I know. I have been missing for a while. I tried posting some videos discussing my hiatus, but apparently I didn't do something right because no one but me could view them. Oh well.

What happened is that I came down with Pneumonia. The urgent care doctor said it was either bronchitis or pneumonia. However, since I didn't respond very quickly to the antibiotics, I am pretty sure it was the latter. I was home sick for an entire week. I went to work on a Saturday, had Sunday off, went to urgent care on Monday and then didn't leave the apartment until Saturday again. I missed 3 days of work. I was so upset that I was going to get fired. Even though I had a doctor's excuse for missing work, I was still worried that since I had missed so many days already I would be fired.

I swear, all that worry and they still haven't said anything to me! My supervisor is a big queen, so I was hoping to work my hag magic on him. However he has yet to bring it up, and I don't go looking for trouble. (Even though it always finds me.)

I ended up having to work on my 30th birthday. I wasn't happy to be turning 30 anyway, and I was really upset because I had been planning on visiting my family until death decided to knock on my damn door. I have since then declared this my 3rd worst birthday ever.

What are the other two?

1) A few years ago I had to have my appendix removed. Luckily it was an urgent situation, but not an emergency situation. I was able to schedule the procedure. The next available (and only available) appointment time was February 23rd. My birthday. Needless to say I had this conversation a lot:

Q - "What is your date of birth, Ms. Lothian?"
A - "February 23rd 1978."
Q- "No not today's date, your date of birth."
A- "Yeah, that IS my date of birth."
Q- "You mean today is your birthday?"
A- "Yep."
Q- "You are having surgery on your BIRTHDAY? Why?"
A- "I thought it would be fun. Why the fuck do you think I am having it today?"

2) I celebrated my birthday in the hospital with my father after he had a massive heart attack and needed surgery. This would have been #1, except by the time my birthday came around his surgery had come and gone and he was expected to make a full recovery. (Which he did) I had spent every waking hour prior and during his surgery worrying about the fact that life would be impossible without him. It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. However, by the time the 23rd rolled around he was feeling much better. A nurse of his who had a beautiful singing voice sang "Happy Birthday" to me. However, his recovery was the best gift I could have gotten that year.

3) Of course, dying from pneumonia made the big 3-0 blow.

All that being said, I can't deny the fact that I did spend some time with Ron, Tim, Laura and Renee on Sunday after my birthday and had a lovely time. Tim made a delicious dinner and the most decadent birthday cake ever. He went out of his way to make me some vegetarian options (like he always does) and toiled in the kitchen for hours. It brought me to tears on the ride home thinking about how much love was in that room that night, and how worried everyone was about my health. Although I loved my gay man pot holder I got from Renee, I loved the love I received even more. The best gift I got was time to spend with my second family.

Rock and ...What!?

The Offspring
"You gotta' keep 'em separated"

You gotta' keep 'em separated

(Verse 1)

Like the latest fashion
Like a spreading disease
The kids are strappin' on their way to the classroom
Getting weapons with the greatest of ease

The gangs stake their own campus locale
And if they catch you slippin' then it's all over pal
If one guys colors and the others don't mix
They're gonna bash it up, bash it up, bash it up, bash it up...


Hey - man you talkin' back to me?
Take him out
You gotta keep 'em separated

Hey - man you disrespecting me?
Take him out
You gotta keep 'em separated

Hey they don't pay no mind
If you're under 18 you won't be doing any time
Hey come out and play

(Verse 2)

By the time you hear the siren
It's already too late
One goes to the morgue and the other to jail
One guy's wasted and the other's a waste


It goes down the same as the thousand before
No one's getting smarter
No one's learning the score
Your never ending spree of death and violence and hate
Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own...


(Repeat from *)

Random Thoughts

You know, it is really distracting trying to drive to work when in your peripheral vision is the grossest dropping of bird crap you have ever seen. I kept trying to keep my eyes on the road, but like a bad accident my eyes kept drifting back to the poo. Normally it has hardened and I could just roll my window down to remove it, however it was so substantial and juicy that I simply could not risk having this gift from a bird who clearly had a case of the flu flying into my face. Above is my view from inside.

I took this photo from the outside so that you could throughly enjoy the nuances of color within the poo. It was a poo masterpiece really. I am very impressed with the bird who left it for me. I wouldn't be surprised if it came from one of Steve's eagles.