For the love of everything holy ...

For the love of everything Gay in this world, Someone please buy this!!! I mean come on, it's "BALL-SY" and "COCK-Y"!

Is it hot in here, or is it just Lothian?

These pictures are for Stephanie, who claims she has yet to see the stills from my sex tape with Colin. Hell, they are for me too!

Even Bitches can do some good!

Recently, I sent away for a Wildlife Warriors Worldwide bracelet from the Discovery Channel store. Saddened by the untimely death of "The Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin, I wanted to support his continuing cause and name. The WWW is a fund created by Steve Irwin and his wife Terry as a way to "include and involve other caring people to support the protection of injured, threatened or endangered wildlife – from the individual animal to an entire species."

Please check out the information about the bracelets here.
Please check out the information about the organization here.

I simply wanted 1 bracelet, but they come in packages of 10. Suddenly, I had a bunch of bracelets and nothing to use them for.

Once I started reading the materials, I realized that 100% of the profits and not a portion of the profits went to the Wildlife Warriors Worldwide foundation. This got my brain gears going, and I came up with a plan for the bracelets.

My plan is this: if any of you want one, I would love to give you one. All I ask is for one dollar. I will then take your dollar and match it. For example, my friend Christina bought one from me for $1. I then matched her dollar to make $2. Ideally, I would like to sell all 10 bracelets (I already added $2 to the fund for the one I wear). That would make $20 to donate to the Wildlife Warriors Foundation. I am up to $4 right now. I know that twenty bucks does not seem like much, but ten dollars is all I can afford to match.

I am not trying to scam anyone here. What the hell am I going to do with 10 rubber bracelets? I think it is a good idea, but please don't feel pressure to purchase a bracelet. If you are interested, just let me know. I will keep everyone updated when I reach my goal of $20.

The bitch is back

Woo Hoo!! Apparently the glitch I have been experiencing with posting pictures on this site may have fixed itself. Let's hope so.

I am truly sorry for not posting much lately. January has been a really weird month for me and right now I am feeling like Mr Pug over there. Depressed, y'all.

January started out really well for me and I attacked the new year with nun chucks! At the beginning of the month, I contacted some sources from Ohio State (where I did my undergraduate program) about continuing my education. The school of Social Work got back to me and told me that my previous degree would allow me to skip all the undergrad Social Work coursework and go straight into the Masters program to get my LSW, or License of Social Work. When I think about jobs I would like, most of them require a LSW.

Next I contacted the school of Journalism and Communications at OSU. Turns out they do not have a Masters program for Journalism, but they sent me some great information on the undergrad coursework for the Journalism Degree.

Lastly, I looked into Columbus State and a new "school" in Westerville called Boehecker College. I am looking into a nursing or medical assistant degree in these locations. BC seems to be a more focused and quicker program, whereas CS is much more involved and probably better in the long run.

Interestingly (and sadly), I contacted the department of Women's Studies about getting my masters since I have a degree in WS already. I have yet to hear back from them...

And .... that's as far as I got. Going back to school just seems like such a daunting process. I am already $20,000 in debt just for my first degree and am having major problems paying that back. I also feel like I wasted all my time and money getting a Women's Studies degree, I don't want to make the same mistake again. How am I supposed to know if I would like Social Work, or Nursing, or Journalism? I don't want to go through all that and be stuck doing something I hate. So, I am in a holding pattern right now.

On to other subjects, I feel I need to explain why I have been a royal C Y.ou N.ext T.uesday lately. On top of the weight of thinking about changing my entire life around, my health has not been great. Not to gross anyone out, I will use lame euphemisms here. My aunt Flo came to visit me the week before Christmas and just recently left. She stayed for roughly a month straight. I can not afford Birth control pills, which would most likely fix this problem. So I am forced to deal with it.

Secondly, and less disgusting are my lungs. Loyal readers will remember my fairly recent struggle with Pleurisy. Well, the winter has been absolutely brutal to my chest. Everyday I wake up hacking and wheezing. My ribcage is killing me. I really need to cover my mouth and nose with a scarf when I go out, but don't always. I am in desperate need of a humidifier. My parents bought me one, but apparently don't realize just how much I need the relief that I suspect it will give me. Don't get me wrong, I don't have Pleurisy again (thank Goddess!) but I think my lungs are now more sensitive and susceptible to the cold and cry air.

So, I have been kind of depressed lately. Which of course means that I am eating like a fucking cow. I feel fat and ugly and winter has officially depressed the shit out of me. Work is an absolute fucking disaster, but I really need to post another long rant to go through all the shit that has been happening there. Just wait, because it has been brewing in me and bubbling over. The end all, tell all work post is coming.

FUCK, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!

Thanks for being so loyal

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU GUYS!! I STILL CAN'T POST PICTURES AND I CAN'T FIND OUT WHAT IS WRONG, BUT I WILL BE BLOGGING AGAIN VERY SOON. HANG IT THERE!!

Merry Christmas!

Well, I am off to Youngstown for the holidays! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, and I hope you eat tons of food that is bad for you. I will be back in the New Year and will hopefully be back to posting more regularly. I may even have drunken pictures for you from all the partying I will be doing. (yeah, right.)

I am in the process of creating an online "Stupid Customer Book" since we can not have one at work anymore. Start thinking up some of your most idiotic customer experiences or quotes and send them to me -- you can either comment on this post or e-mail me personally. I will be adding all the stories for everyone to enjoy. Feel free to ask me to post them anonymously, with an alias, or quote you by name. I will be adding some of my own experiences too, but all in all I would like everyone to participate if they can.

Very Excited Pug

He is saying "EEeeee"!!

pug

I wuv woo too!

Trying to iron out issues with Blogger Beta

Hey all, sorry for the random picture, but I have been having issues since I changed from Blogger, to Blogger Beta. I am trying to fix these issues today.

I had written a whole lot more for my military post and lost it all, so I am really irritated with this new system. I haven't been able to post pictures either, so I am trying to fix that right now.

Hope you enjoy this little ditty.

A little perspective...

A Myspace friend forwarded this on to me. I unfortuately do not know the original author, but I wanted to share it with you bitches. Retail workers spend most of their holiday's being snapped at, given attitude to, and yelled at. The reasons for this treatment? Because we are out of the new Oprah book, or Play Station 3, or skinny jeans, or microwave, etc etc. Meanwhile, much more important things are going on in this world. Let's not forget the women who are fighting and dying out there too!




You stay up for 16 hours
He stays up for days on end.
_________________________
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt,
and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
__________________________
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
_________________________
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
__________________________
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
__________________________
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
__________________________
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet
__________________________
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
__________________________
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
__________________________
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________
You are asked to go to the store by your parents.
You don't.He does exactly what he is told.
__________________________
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
__________________________
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire.
__________________________
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him

All My Children Introduces a Transgendered character.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=243137&affid=100055


Apparently the soap opera, All My Children is way more ahead of the times than most television shows. I think you should read the article, it is quite interesting. I wonder how all those Oprah drones are going to feel about this.

What I especially love about this is that they seem to be taking it very seriously. Way to go daytime drama!

The article states:

"The show wasn't interested in doing something just to be sensational, she (Julie Hanan Carruthers, the show's executive producer) said. GLAAD and some transgenders were brought in as consultants in shaping the character, teaching the producers when it is appropriate to call a character "she" even before surgery, she said.

Damon Romine, a spokesman for GLAAD, said he hasn't seen the show yet but feels people involved were genuinely interested in telling the story with dignity. Emotions are so close to the surface in soap operas, and this story can serve a purpose by showing what transgenders go through, he said."

Ross, you are beautiful. No matter what they say.

40% off!

Adorable Gay and Hot Firemen, what could be better?

Thank Moo.

Happy Thanksgiving bitches! I had a pretty good one this year. My folks came into town late last night and left this evening. Mainly they came to pick up my car, Scarlet. She is in desperate need of new brakes and fans. So, just to be difficult, my parents drove here (2 1/2 hours) to pick up my car. My dad left his car for me to drive, and took Scarlet home. Not only are they driving all that distance with bad brakes, but they went from a four-door Aztec to a two-door Neon. They went from power windows and locks, to manual ones. I plan on never hearing the end of it.

I know they are just trying to save me a couple hundred dollars, but I never felt more like the spoiled baby in the family than I do right now. My mother was hyper-critical (as usual) over the phone before she got here, but I think she was pleasantly surprised to see what I ended up making for dinner.

I stopped by Kroger and got them a package of sliced turkey breast, so they could have some turkey today. I am a vegetarian, although I would have not been upset to try and cook a bird for them. But, how much turkey can two people eat anyway? I then had corn, stuffing, cheesy mashed potatoes, cornbread, salad, muffins, nut bread, and canned cranberry sauce (the only way to go). It was not perfect, but it was good enough.

They Ooh'ed and Ahh'ed over the food (I made breakfast too) so that was nice. As long as my mother kept her critical comments to herself I was fine. I mean, in true Holiday fashion, I was in tears over her before she even got here. Alas, I survived!

I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Turkey day too. I am about to take a nap and get ready to watch Star Wars for the first time.

Tomorrow is "Hell day", "Black Friday", or as Stephanie called it "National dip shit shopper day". People are assholes already, so this season should be fun. I will write up and let you know how it went and if I beat the shit out of anyone.

Cheers!

Catholics to Gays: You'll Never Be Happy -- towleroad

Catholics to Gays: You'll Never Be Happy -- towleroad


So close, yet sooo far away...

"It's a baby, it needs to nurse!"



I can't tell which I love more, the super-gay or Steve Irwin calling him "Sweetheart." Smiles!!

PINEAPPLE, PINEAPPLE!!

Bless your soul, Steve.

EXCLUSIVE: Neil Patrick Harris Tells PEOPLE He Is Gay | Neil Patrick Harris : People.com

EXCLUSIVE: Neil Patrick Harris Tells PEOPLE He Is Gay | Neil Patrick Harris : People.com

WAY TO GO DOOGIE!! WE SUPPORT YOU 100%!!

"Why? Cause Fuck 'em, that's why."


An oldie, but a goodie. I L.O.V.E. this!! I would be employee of the month at Popular Copy, damn!!

Rest in Peace

As I wrote previously, my sister's Dog Jayme passed away. I have been trying to post this picture for some time, but Blogger was not cooperating.

Anyway, Jayme is the black and grey pooch in the picture. The yellow lab mix is her brother Samson. He was very dependent on Jayme and could not be separated from her, So I am sure he is not having an easy time with the loss either.

I loved Jayme very much and miss her dearly. Since my sister lives in the same area as the rest of my family - Youngstown - I don't feel her loss as much. However once I go home to visit I am sure her not being present will not go unnoticed.

Her death was very quick, and I pray it was painless. She had a long and wonderful life with a very loving mother. She saw some very bad things in the 11 years she was alive, but she remained extremely loving and genuine and protective. I have very fond memories of her, and I am truly saddened to say goodbye.

I hope she is watching over my sister, Jennifer. I hope that her spirit continues to protect my sister, myself and my family. I wish everlasting peace to her, and I hope she comes and visits me in my dreams.

I am sorry, I would eulogize her better but I am still too shocked and saddened to do a better job. Please keep my sister in your thoughts and prayers as she is having a difficult time with this. Thanks!

A quick update

Hello all!

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update as to how my new-ish job is going.

I started today doing that test grading thing that I did in the past. I will be working there from 8am-4am and then going to the "permanent" job from 5-10/11pm. It will definitely suck working nearly 80 hours, but this way I will be able to afford Christmas gifts this year.

I will have to work 6 days a week at my "permanent" job to get my hours in, so I will be crabby and tired. I am always crabby and tired, so who knows how I will be.

The job runs from Nov 2nd until Nov 22nd, so I just have to hang in there.

I was happy to see Claudia, who I worked with last time, back again and in my group. It will make things much easier to work with someone I know and enjoy talking with. Of course, I ended up sitting next to and bonding with the gay guy in the room. Even when I am not trying to, I end up with the gay guys. Alas, I prefer their company anyway.

I will try to blog as much as I can during this busy time, so be patient please.

Oh, FYI: I typed in "new job" into the Google image search to find a graphic for this post. I got the graphic I ended up using. How did they know my new job is as a transvestite hooker??

"...With a spooky little girl like you..."

I thought I would give you guys some spooky videos to watch to entertain yourselves for Halloween.

**I promise these are NOT "screamers" -- you know, those fucking things where you are supposed to watch closely and then all of a sudden something screams and jumps out. I hate those things!**

I also found a creepy game/site you might want to check out. There are a few "jump-out-at-cha's" but not too bad.

Enjoy! http://www.tamba.co.uk/askthespirits/

EVP

Ghost

Little Ghost Girl 2 (Actual EVP Recording)

Ghost 2 Evp

Haunted Hollow - PRISM Investigation - EVPs

Hobbit Halloween!

Hey everyone! Yeah, I know I said I would be updating soon, but I just didn't get around to it. Deal with it!

Anyway, I just wanted to invite folks to my place of employment tomorrow. Since I am working on Halloween, I am dressing up.

I decided to go as a Hobbit. I got the skirt, top and vest. I have elfin ears that I am going to wear, and plastic Hobbit feet too! I will be wearing my cloak, with my leaf of Lothlorien pin. I will also have my little ring of power on.

So, stop by and make fun of me. Take pictures of me. Be rude to me knowing I can't tell you to fuck off -- oh wait, the customers already have that under control. But at least stop by and say "Suilaid".

I will be around from 10-6:30. Although, I hope to sneak out a little early. Some friends and I are hoping to go to The Experience and get the panties scared off us. Yeah, Yeah I know, Ron. I wussed out on you. However, the more I got to looking at the site for the haunted wood, the more fun it seemed. As long as no psycho is chasing me with a chainsaw, I am cool ... I hope.

Irwin's widow 'devastated' by South Park parody - Yahoo! News UK

Irwin's widow 'devastated' by South Park parody - Yahoo! News UK

Ahhhhh!

Ah yes, I finally got my computer fixed. I had to change my work schedule, but I am not back online and out of the library. Of course, I kind of miss the speed of those computers, but alas I can now look at all the internet porn I wish.

I have tons to write about, but unfortunately I have to get to the grind, so I will be updating ya'll soon.

Before I sign off, I have Two favors that I must ask of all my loyal readers.

1) Think good healing thoughts for my lovely friend Anna, who is having some health issues right now. She is hopefully recuperating comfortably today. Take care of yourself!

2) Think good emotionally healing thoughts for my sister Jennifer. She lost her dog Jayme to cancer yesterday. I loved JuJuBee too and am saddened to hear of her death. It was sudden, but Jennifer had her for over 11 wonderful years. I will be writing more about Jayme in a separate post.

I know the power of good thoughts, so keep these two in your hearts today and send them some good vibes. They need the love.

I miss my computer!!

The library is closing in a few minutes, so I will be brief. For anyone who doesn't yet know, I am out of computer commission for a while. After a lengthy power outage, my computer will not turn on anymore. I am stuck using the public library computers which suck. I miss internet porn!!

Anyway, I sense someone is looking over my shoulder so I will close now. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up as to why I am MIA. Hopefully soon I will be hearing from the tech guys and they will schedule a time to fix my poor baby. Until then, I feel as though I am out of touch with the world.

After this weekend, I should have plenty to tell you bitches about, so I will do my best to make it to the library to type away.

Until then, if you need me you can call my cell.

White & Nerdy

Just once, I'd love to do this!!

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
*******************************************
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared. "

Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
--------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
--------------------------------------------------------
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
--------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take itback to the store you bought it from."
--------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller:"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"


Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!! !"

**This guy is my hero.
I hope you enjoyed the laugh,
love Lothian.

Deep Fried Diabetes

Charlotte Observer 10/10/2006 How to make Coke better? Fry it

Sorry for the unoriginal posts lately. I want to get in the habit of posting everyday, so I thought that on days when I don't have the time to sit and write something or am feeling non-witty, I would share some things that I find online while checking out other sites.

Today was a hellish I-want-to-fucking-walk-out-or-stab-a-customer-in-the-eye-with-a-number-2-pencil kind of day, so I just want to stare at the TV for a couple of hours and gorge on chocolate. Sorry bitches.

I am easily amused.

Human Rights Campaign National Coming Out Day Video

Today was National Coming Out day. Here is a wonderful video celebrating Human rights/Gay Rights. I want to send out all my love to those coming out, and all my respect to those who have already come out of the closet. You have my respect for your bravery and my love for all of those who have been outcast.

As they say in the video, Talk about it. Erase Hate.

Oh, but she can be half naked??

Dlisted: FHM Doesn't Want Booze Near Brooke Hogan

Another e-mail forward...

3 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

LESSON ONE:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


LESSON TWO:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night,the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


LESSON THREE:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!

He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is yourfriend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the three minute management course.

**Someone forwarded this to me, and I thought it was so funny and so TRUE! I figured you all would like it, since many of my friends are having "issues" with their management team. Enjoy, but don't forget, I didn't write this one either. I am not very clever!***

Why women are so crabby.

Hey bitches,
Damn, I wish I had written this, it is hilarious!! Kudos to whomever did. I got this forwarded to me through a myspace friend. It really made me giggle, so I thought you all would enjoy it too. Remember though, I didn't write this. I can't take credit for the fun this time.
love, loth.


Why women are so crabby

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and
hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

Tootie's Bong

The Three Bongs

New! Lost Season 3 Trailer (new footage)

TWO WORDS: PANTY CREAMER!!

AN OPEN INVITATION

**********************************************


HEY YOU GUYS!

A BUNCH OF US FROM WORK ARE GOING TO THE
RENAISSANCE FAIRE
THIS SATURDAY

EVERYONE IS INVITED, SO IF YOU WANT TO JOIN US
PLEASE CALL OR E-MAIL ME

THE MORE THE MERRIER!!

(and hey! if I can convince her, maybe Christina will let me borrow one of her costumes!)

An updated update...

A few people have asked me how to help Donna and her fund for Sugar. I am getting in touch with her, but if you prefer, you can also send your donations directly to:

The Fairfield Area Humane Society
1721 Granville Pike
Lancaster, Oh 43130
by phone at: 740-687-0627
http://www.fairhumane.org/

Thank you for everyone who has offered to help. You bitches rock!

Pour some Sugar on me! (an update on abandoned dog Sugar)

Wow! It looks like little Sugar has a few guardian angels. One of these angels is my dear friend and faithful reader Donna.

She writes: "I have started a fund here at my full-time job for Sugar, which we will be sending in on Friday. Right now I have pledges of over $100! Hopefully Sugar will have her surgery, and a new and loving family soon."

That is fantastic Donna!! I knew people in the city would stand up to help her out, and you are such a kind and giving woman that it came to no suprise you would be one of those angels to help her.

If anyone out there is interested in contributing to Donna's fund, please let me know. You can always e-mail me at lothiantook@yahoo.com, and I will get you in touch with her.

Emaciated, Deformed Dog Dumped At Area Shelter - News - MSNBC.com

Hey, if you can help please do. That poor baby needs some love.

Emaciated, Deformed Dog Dumped At Area Shelter - News - MSNBC.com

MySpace.com

< not Roger, that's good 'ole Tom

Dearest Roger,

You wrote to me the most lovely MySpace message last night. I am such a lucky woman to receive such a nice thought -- especially after being so upset! I appreciated you taking the time to write, and I just need to share your poetic words with the rest of the world:

"31/m depressed and in search of good blow job.... intested? let me know"

Wow! I mean, wow! How could a girl possibly pass up such a respectful invitation from a complete stranger? It was a hard decision, but Alas, I must.

However Roger, I have a suggestion for you. A little piece of advice to help you on your Quest. Go to the bank and take out, oh I don't know, $50 bucks. ...and get yourself a good pounding up the ass by some lovely "working girl" named Todd.

Happy searching,
Lothian

Having a bad day.

So, I had a pretty bad night tonight. I don't know why, but I spent a good hour crying my eyes out. I think I am just really frustrated with being sick. My chest was really heavy today and although I wasn't in the pain I have been in, I still found it hard to breathe.

I decided to call my parents and ask them if they thought I should start taking the heavy-duty drugs my doctor gave me. The doctor said to take it until I felt better and then stop. I followed her advice and stopped when the pain ended. However, I am still feeling shitty.

After another half-hour of bawling my eyes out on the phone with them, we decide I need to start taking the drugs again. But I think my folks upset me more than the frustration of my illness.

I told them that I was upset because I was so frustrated. Frustrated over the doctor not being able to give me a reason why I am sick. All the doctor said is that it was just "the luck of the draw." I know medicine does not have all the answers, but what the fuck kind of thing is that to say to a patient? My mother's reaction was to say that, "well, there is no reason why people get Leukemia, they just do. At least you aren't as bad off as they are."

Well no shit, mom. But does that mean that I can't feel sorry for myself every once in a while? Christ, I know there is always someone in the world with a worse situation than myself. All I wanted was for them to say that they were sorry I was hurting and upset and frustrated. Sorry that I am afraid. I just wanted them to pretend to feel some sort of empathy. Not brush me off and change the subject.

I went through this all on my own. I am still going through this on my own. I know I have friends out there who would have been more than willing to take care of me, but I am not one of those people who can be sick in front of someone. I don't ask for help very well. My pride turned into just feeling really lonely.

All those people out there with partners, husbands, wives, roommates -- you are so fucking lucky. You have someone who you can go to in the middle of the night and cry to because you are scared. You have someone to hold your hand in the emergency room. Someone that you won't feel you are putting out by doing so. It is different with lovers or family, than friends. Who do I call at 4am when I am panicking that I am never going to feel better again? Who is going to just hold me and let me cry all night? No one. I am usually pretty used to going through this life alone, but today I just am feeling really ... sad.

All I needed from them is to say that they were sorry I sat in my apartment for 3 days unable to breathe. All I needed was a fucking verbal hug and the permission to feel sorry for myself. Apparently I am not fucking allowed to do that. Apparently it is all about them, and my little 'cold' is not important.

Sorry. I have gone and upset myself again. I can't cry and type, ya'll. It's too messy. I just really needed to get this off my chest. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, though at this point I doubt it.

I have the eye of the tiger, Lord!

I am feeling a bit better, ya'll. Thank you for all the love.

What I officially ended up being diagnosed with, is something called Pleurisy. You can click the link for more information. I would not wish this shit on my worst enemy, man. And I have a few enemies!! It was horrible, and kicked my ass for a good 4 days. I am still beat down, but not out.

I ended up calling my doctor Monday morning (I was in the ER Sunday at about 1am) because every time you visit the ER they recommend you follow up with your own doctor within a certain amount of days. So I called and they were going to have me see her on FRIDAY!! Well, I had woken up at around 6am that morning and could barely breathe. But I was not in the mood to argue, you know?

Later that day I had a really bad episode where I got super nauseous and had a sudden fever -- sweating like crazy. I was in more pain than when I went to the ER. I just wanted to die. I called back in tears and they fit me in at around 3:15. It took me a good 45 minutes to get out of the apartment and drive the 5 minutes to get there and get inside, because I could only walk in like super-slowmotion.

Anyway, long story short she gave me Prednisone for the infection and Codine for the pain. I can actually breathe now!! I am still a little sore, but I could finally get some sleep all drugged up. I am so glad I didn't wait until Friday to see her, I was in so much damn pain. It was worse than when I had surgery!

I should be back to work on Thursday. I never thought I would say it, but I will be glad to be back. To all my co-workers who read this, I am truly sorry about all the call-offs. I know how much it fucks things up for everyone. Maybe I could have come in and just worked cashwrap, but even talking for a few minutes irritated my lungs, and until Monday I wasn't sure if I was contagious (which I wasn't). Despite the facade, I really don't want to see people hurting either. Plus, it hurt so much to move and drive I was worried about traveling. I am sure you understand that I just could not do it, but I still feel awful.

It is kind of hard to describe, but the one thing I got out of this whole situation is how I can be aggressive when I want to. I could have ignored the pain, but didn't and went to the ER. I could have let them shrug me off as being to young to have anything wrong with me, but I didn't (and to be honest they did not treat me that way at all). I could have kept my doctor appointment for Friday and let myself suffer all that time, but I didn't. All and all I was proud of myself for taking care of myself. I don't usually take care of myself very well. I am not proud that I didn't ask for any help from anyone, but what the fuck do you people want? I can only fix one hang-up at a time, okay?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the e-mail's and cards! It is so nice to know how much people care about me!

never gonna get me alive!

Yeah. Soooo.... I am sitting here at 6:10am waiting to call work so that I can tell them I can not come in today.

Why? I guess Prince's sexiness was too much for me. Let me start from the beginning.

I was spending time with some good friends last night (Saturday night) watching Purple Rain. Towards the end of the night my chest was bothering me. It hurt to breathe in and cough.

I didn't want to mention it, and I have had chest pains in the past that I foolishly ignored. So I just ignored the pain and had fun. I got home at around 12am. By 1am I had enough of the pain. It got worse and when I tried to lay down, I was in serious pain and had shortness of breath.

Off I go to the Emergency Room. Yes, I can hear you all right now. Why didn't I call someone? I don't know. I didn't want to be a bother I guess. Anyway, I tried to convince myself it was nothing and drove myself (got verbally spanked by the doctor for it too). I couldn't take the pain and since I had chest pains before, I figured that enough was enough.

They ran an EKG on me, did some bloodwork, put me on a heart monitor and pulse-checker-thingie. They also did a CAT scan of my chest. The doctor didn't feel that it was my heart that was the problem since it hurts to breathe. He was thinking more along the lines of a bloodclot in my lungs somewhere. Nice...as if I didn't have enough to worry about.

5 hours later the doctor tells me that (thank goodness) the CAT scan looked alright. My lungs and heart are still there and doing well. He was concerned about my heart beat. Just from looking at the monitor it ran from 100-150+ (and I am assuming that is per minute). The term he used was "racing". He didn't seemed too concerned -- probably thought I was just anxious. Which I guess I was. However, I was also really damn tired. Like, so tired that I really didn't care if I died at that point, because at least then I could get some sleep. So tired, that I got lost coming home. I live a good 5 minutes from the hospital.

He diagnosed me with "Pluerisy" which is a viral illness that irritates the lining around the lungs. It can cause chest pain when breathing in or cough, and the symptoms come on suddenly. It is more or less a blanket diagnonsense. "Since you don't seem to be dying, you must have an infection"-type of problem. I have to take anti-inflammatories (ie: really strong aspirin) and make an appointment with the family doctor.

Apparently Ron really is trying to kill me, and not just fantasizing about it...

Like a flame going out...

(I did not write these things, but I feel they represent my feelings very well)

September 11, 2006, will soon be approaching. On this day, please wear red, white and blue to work or school to show your support for those who lost their lives on 9~11~01 and to honor the heroes who worked to save them and the famil ies le ft behind.

At noon your time on September 11, 2006, no matter where you are or what you are doing, stop, put your hand on your heart, and say the Pledge of Allegiance out loud or to yourself and say a prayer for our nation.

In addition, for those of us who drive to work, please drive with your headlights on to also give honor and remembrance to those who perished on September 11th.

If all of us do this together in every time zone round the world, we will have a powerful chain of thoughts surrounding us.

5 years ago.....
A brother lost a sister
A father lost a son
A daughter lost a mother
A neice lost an uncle
A mother lost her only child
A dog lost its master
A wife lost her husband
A granddaughter lost her papa
A best friend lost a friend
A mother and daughter lost each other at the same time

Flight 93
The Pentagon
World Trade Center 1
World Trade Center 2
Flight 11
Flight 175
Flight 77

God gained 2,973 angels on September 11th, 2001

We Remember...... and will never forget.

A gift to my readers!

I found this picture of myself while going through some old photo albums and I thought you would just love it. It was taken in 198-something or other. I was in middle school (5th grade-8th grade) and we were going on a school trip to ...Somewhere. Don't you love all the details I have?

Let's discuss this picture, shall we?

-My hair: Styled in the ever popular "spiral perm." This involved taking a strand of hair, twisting it, and then wrapping it around a curler, soaking your head in the horrific (and I believe brain damaging) permanent solution, and sitting for an hour until your scalp burns.

-My Glasses: Blue...and plastic...and ... HUGE

-My Neaklace: A plastic peace sign. One of many I owned. Someone could have mistaken me for an international UN ambassador with all the peace sign necklaces I wore. It was very popular among the rap-artists that I so deeply connected with.

-The T-Shirt: New Kids on the Block. Need I say more? Oh wait, tucked in. Why in the hell did I tuck it in?? Fat chicks should never ever tuck.

-The Sweater: It had shoulder pads. Who the fuck had the bright idea for shoulder pads? I have the shoulders of Maurice Clarett, I did NOT need shoulder pads. If anything, I should have shoved them in my bra.

-The Waist Down: I know for a fact these are jean shorts. Jean shorts are not necessary. Ever. But the most important thing to mention here is the zipper. Let's face it bitches, I was NEVER that thin. No, I laid flat on the bed and with both hands, I grunted and groaned until I got that zipper up over my ever-growing pouch of fat. God bless that zipper. I don't know how it didn't just implode upon itself and launch little pieces of metal into the foreheads of my classmates.

-The Rest: I don't think I would be far off if I guessed I was wearing sneakers, with anywhere from 2-3 pairs of socks. Socks of various colors. "Scrunched" down on top of one another so that my ankles looked like some sort of demented candy cane. I am sure my legs were shaved. Poorly. With small patches of missed hair and lots of nicks. It was probably the first time that summer I even bothered to shave.

Ah! A bad acid trip down memory lane. Isn't it beautiful? I hope you all got a good laugh out of my humiliation. Do you see what I do for you people??!!

Here is to the good 'ole days, to NKOTB, and to zippers made in Malaysia. I salute you my fellow friends who survived the 1980's. Fellow friends who tried, but could not avoid the camera for all 10 years. I salute you, not like I usually do with a friendly middle finger. No, I salute you like I did in that picture, with the obligatory peace sign.

I need a date, part II.

As everyone can gather, I have been in a funk lately. I just can not figure out what to do with my life and where I want to go with things. It is really frustrating and heartbreaking.

A dear friend suggested I get my Tarot Cards read, and I just might do that. However, I have also been thinking of finding a life coach. Life Coaches are people who help you figure out what you want to do with your life and how to get there. It seems like a perfect match.

I researched it and found this place online that I know I have driven past a million times. I often wondered what The Center on High was. Now I know. It is sort of a New Age doctor's office. They apparently offer Aromatherapy, Reiki, Spiritual Counseling, Hypnotherapy, Chiropractic care, Yoga, Massage Therapy, Reflexology, Acupuncture, and ...LIFE COACHING!

So, this is where I need you lovely bitches. Every First Saturday of the month they have an open house. I think it coincides with the Short North Gallery Hop. Anyway, from 11am-5pm they offer demonstrations, meet and greet with the staff, and free refreshments.

I really want to go, but I don't want to go by myself. Anyone up for a New-Age-good time? There are free refreshments in it for you. And who knows, I may even let you feel me up a little!

Stewie's banjo band

WHO KNEW STEWIE LOVED BIG BITTER WOMEN? HERE IS THE SONG HE WROTE JUST FOR ME!!

A poll.

If I created a BBBNBabe store, would you buy anything?
	Hell to the NO!
	Only if you gave me something in return. Wink! Wink!
	Maybe...if you offered thongs.
	Sure, I have tons of disposable income!
	I don't know, depends on what you offer.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Goodbye

In case you live under a rock and haven't heard, the "Crocodile hunter" Steve Irwin has unfortunately passed away. Apparently he was filming a special on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia and was pierced in the chest by a stingray. The stingray stabbed his heart and he died almost instantly.

I don't know why, but I am saddened by this news. He was a young man with two young children. That alone is tragic.

however, I am consoled to think that much like the grizzly bear activist Timothy Treadwell , Irwin died doing what he loved and with animals that he so dearly cared for. I highly respect people who have made it their life mission to speak for those who can not speak for themselves. Although a little goofy, Steve Irwin was a man who spent his life caring for animals, rescuing them, and educating the public about them.

I remember the episode where one of his beloved "crocs" died of natural causes. Steve cried with grief both freely and unapologetically in front of the ever present cameras. Clearly his compassion and passion was true. I only pray that his dream and hard work is carried on by not only his staff, but also his growing children and loving wife.

REST IN PEACE, CROC HUNTER

(for more information, visit the link below)
MSN - News - 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin Dies at 44

His holy Pug-ness

Pugieness

IN HONOR OF MY 100TH POST, HERE IS A VIDEO OF AN ADORABLE PUG AND THE LUSCIOUS LITTLE PIGGY NOISES THEY MAKE.

Deep thoughts.

So, one has some free time to think when they are slacking off at work. A while back, I made a short list of things I like, weird things I do, and other random thoughts. Like the ape above, I thought really hard about these things and may have hurt myself at some point.

**Please share your deep thoughts, etc and I will add them to my post. Wierdos unite!**
**I think I will update this periodically as I find more quirks about myself**

- I have an unquenchable desire to unbend perfectly good paperclips.
- I like to stare at people when they are talking loudly on their cell phones and I react to what they are saying.
- I like to give people the finger when I drive.
- I feel the need to peel the label off of all the bottled beverages I consume.
- Brand new Sharpie Pens make me really happy.
- I often spend too long wondering what path that pen from "Hotel Pontchartrain" in Detroit Michigan took to get onto my desk.
- Grown women who chomp and smack their bubble gum irritate the hell out of me.
- I have to wash pre-packaged underwear before wearing them because I don't know where inspector #457's hands have been.
- I hate Sudoku puzzles and the left-brained number loving freaks who do them.
- I like to contemplate the need and/or usage one has for a moustache. Because they certainly are not cute.
- Female Opera singers make my ears bleed.
- Male Opera singers confuse me.
- Dogs who hump my leg make me really uncomfortable.
- I want to strangle people when the interrupt me.
- Gay guys are the only men I am comfortable around.
- I have a confusing obsession with Pope John Paul III.
- The new Pope gives me the creeps.
- I often think Hackers know I am online and are waiting to take over my computer.
- I always screw things up when I try to do the self-checkout at Kroger.
- Watching movies with sex scenes in the company of my parents is really really weird.
- I have an unhealthy addiction to popsicles.
- Loud noises and places make me crabby.
- I can't stand waiting in traffic, I get unnaturally angry.
- I don't know why, but I love watching the tv show Dog The Bounty Hunter.
- I can't stand magicians. They freak me out and make me mildly angry.
- Air conditioning both fascinates and confuses me.

... more to come.

Morons

So, as many of you know we had tornado warnings all around Columbus tonight. A full on, Meterologist getting a boner, sirens blaring, tornado warning.

Of course I was working tonight at the store. Not where I envisioned my last day on this earth, however not surprising that I would die somewhere that dreams of ripping the life out of my soul and shitting on the withered remains.

I got off track, my point is this. Much like the assholes to my left, no one in the store seemed to care. Now, I was not worried and in fact found the whole thing kind of fun. However once I saw the stupid Oprah watching, SUV driving, soccer mom idiots bringing their kids into the store I had enough.

Okay, so you are lost in a good book and do not notice the sirens blaring in your ear -- fine. You are a fearless moron whose last wish is to die at a bookstore reading Penthouse letters and sucking on a venti Java Chip Frappuchino -- fine. You are afraid of the storm and think it safer to stay inside than try to drive in the terrifying drizzle -- fine. But if you are a bored parent who can't stand a single moment more in the company of your drippy, smelly kids -- take them to the bookstore and hope to God you get blown away in the process?

These are the same idiots who are surprised when their house on wheels goes sailing past the local Walmart with them still inside.

(newscaster): "So Jim Bob, when did you decide the situation was too dangerous and that you needed to get somewhere safe?"

*spits out his tobaccy and scratches his balls*

"Wall Mizz Chong, I done thunk eet 'twas bad whan mah trayleeor started a-shakin' an movin' all by it's lonesome. I says to mah sistah who also be mah wife, I says 'jewdie, we bess get on up outta here. Dis bitch gonna blow 'way'. So, we done ran up da heel thar to mah uncle's house. He got one of them thar basements. We done got thar just in time tah see mah fav-or-ite prize heffer Lucy go sailin' by. Boy, I tells ya Mizz Chong -- I's never thunk this evah done happen tah me. I's as sue-prized as mah daddy/brother was when I was done born with these here flippers. Shoo-ee, Boy!!"

PS-- the links I put in this post might be of interest clicking on. Wink, Wink. Nudge, Nudge.

Um, Bless you?

Panda sneeze shocker

I laughed so hard, I peed a little. I jumped like mama too!!

LOST S3 Promo version 1

Panty creamer

Oh! I just wet myself a little bit!!

Damn, I can't wait for the new season. I was getting a little bored with the show, and wasn't excited until I saw this poster. Man, my Hobbit boyfriend looks F.I.N.E. Thanks to D-Listed for the picture.

Sorry about the changes

Well, you found me! Sorry I had to make the change, but I felt it necessary. I have since erased all the posts that have gotten me in trouble in the first place. This way no one gets hurt, and I can fucking move on. Thanks for following me here. I feel kind of shitty today so no Project Runway post until the weekend. But boy do I have alot to say about that!!!

south park &harry potter

this should counteract my anger

Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and sometimes it gets the trash heap.

So, I woke up a few minutes ago thinking about work and being pissed off. I figured before I go and close on a Saturday night, I best get things off my chest. Maybe I won't be so pissed by the time I get to work.

I know many people from my workplace read this, and at this point I don't particularly care if someone gets offended or not. This is my space to do and say what I will.

I don't have the time or the energy to delve into the main reason why my job sucks right now. It is complicated and long. But I want to bitch about a small aspect of it that has gotten my knickers into a knot.

The Fucking vacuuming! I almost always close on Sunday nights, and we as a staff have to vacuum every Thursday and Sunday night. Now, at my other store we had to clean the bathrooms too, so this is not a huge deal to me really. However, I don't think we should have to do it. That is why we have a cleaning staff that comes in and does a shitty job every morning.

But alas, certain people still refuse to do the vacuuming at night. The same people, over and over again are forced to do it. One night, a staff member complained to me about it. She said that she is always the one to sweep at night, and others never do it. As a lead (supervisor to those not in the bookstore know how) I do not feel as though I am responsible to assign this every night. I am a glorified bookseller with no fucking authority. However, I thought it IS my responsibility to bring this complaint to the managers and offer a sort of solution.

However, the managers do not take it upon themselves to ever insure that this ugly task gets done. They are glorified babysitters (that statement is gonna get me in trouble, but fuck it). Anyway, I think the mature thing to do is to go to the person who writes the daily schedule and ask her to assign sweeping like everything else gets assigned (recovery of areas, breaks, etc). She more or less said she did not want to and that people should be responsible adults to deal with the issue among themselves. I said I agreed, and I do! But apparently people can not act like civilized adults and work as a team. Working as a team is another rant for another day, though.

I more or less I thought to myself, well fuck it. I will just be a bitch and go ahead and assign someone to do it every time I work. But then I also thought, why the fuck should I care since we are paying the managers to care?

Long story even longer, once the new daily schedules are posted lo and behold myself and the person who came to me to complain are assigned to vacuum the next few nights. So, is this a fuck you? Just because I asked the manager to assign the task does not mean she has to. Once she explained to me why she didn't want to do it, I agreed with her and told her not to bother. Things were quiet for a few weeks and now she decides to start scheduling? What the fuck got up her ass? She is a lovely person, and is one of the few managers I see actually caring about things and working hard. I am on her side, but why punish me for trying to do my job and fix things?

Oh well, it seems like a small and insignificant thing -- and in a way it is. However, this vacuuming issue represents a larger and much more serious issue with this staff. I officially throw my hands up in the air and say "Fuck this place, fuck the bullshit, I give up." or is it give in? You want me to not care anymore? you got it!

Fuck your links of interest!

Sorry to add the word verification to my comments function. I got sick of the "here are some links of interest to you" bullshit. I hate that some fucking people on the internet have to ruin everything in this world. I thought I could trust people, and maybe even meet some nice new people along the way. I was really wrong.
Thanks for fucking with the one last thing a girl can do for free to express herself. Why didn't you give me a goddamn virus while you were at it?! Fuck you, you know who you are. There are unfortuately a million of you.

STARTING TO GET ANNOYED WITH THE ...

Don't have much to say.

SIGN MY DAMN GUESTBOOK!

OR YOU WILL GET THE EVIL EYE!!



















what the hell, I'm gonna give it you you anyway!

BLAHG!!!!

Is it really a vacation if I don't leave Columbus??

So, my ma and pa are coming into town tomarrow and we are going to have a little mini-vacation together.

The sperm and egg reserved a hotel room (nuthin' fancy) and we are going to go swimming, sit in the air conditioning, and 'prolly get room service. I haven't seen them in about 6 months, so it should be nice.

Of course, we are staying in Delaware....Ohio. So, I am not really going on much of a vacation. However, I don't have to work. I don't have to pay for dinners. And I get to see my folks and maybe my sister.

I'll talk to ya'll in about 3-4 days. Lates!

Don't make me go all mental-patient on your ass!

I opened my e-mail today to find I had 31 messages. About 25 of them were comments from my blog. Apparently I have been spammed. I have never eaten spam, but I guess there is a first time for everything. Anyway, I have all these random comments from "anonymous". I saw there was a teeny-tiny link at the bottom of "anonymous' " comments. Don't click on these links as I do not know where they go, or what might happen. I seem to attract computer problems, so if there is a virus on these -- I will get it.

Anyways, the comments are all nice and really positive so I don't think I will enable the verification function just yet. I am going to keep them up too ... At least someone is posting comments.

Maybe they should have spammed my GUEST BOOK too! No one else seems interested in it (*eyes glancing your way*)

*pout*

Rock on!

So, I have created a little radio station for you thank-less (ie: guest book) bitches.


I found this awesome site that allows you to create a playlist, add it to your player, and then add to your blog (or myspace). The best thing is the price -- it's free ya'll!

Right under my profile is a little player. Just click "select station". Click "Lothian's Lair" and it will begin playing. It is randomly playing songs I chose just for you!

I didn't have too much to choose from, so don't look for any 80's metal yet. I do think you will be surprised as my eclectic taste in tunage. Enjoy!!

I got a million of 'em bitches!!

You know I won't ever stop!

I call it "times"

Here is a little movie I did. It is more fun with the music on, so just click the little icon and it will play. I did it that way because that damn song was starting to annoy me! Enjoy, bitches!

I got crabs.

Crab Fu

Got a guestbook, bitches

Oh yeah, I am SOOO moving up in the cyber-world! I just added a guestbook at the bottom of my blog. Sign it mofo's! It is right under my counter there. See it? Good. Now sign it.

Sign my guestbook please. I really want you to. Hardly anyone leaves me comments, yet I know you read this. I know because once I say something on here, people at work confront me about it. See watch -- purple nipple licker.

I bet I will go to work and someone will ask me "Lothian, are you mental? Where the hell did 'purple nipple licker' come from?" and I will say, "Beats me. Did you sign my guestbook?"

Have you signed it yet? Probably not because you are still purple reading nipple this licker. Sign it!! You don't even have to think before you say something stupid like purple nipple licker, because I say stupid stuff all the time. Just type something, it can be offensive and inappropriate -- those are the best kinds. I don't care what you write as long as it isn't purple nipple licker.

Celebhead: Britney

A day in the life of everyone's favorite mom.

Not all who wander are lost ... except me.

For some reason, I am feeling very introspective and sad today. I would like to share a poem from The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien that keeps scrolling over and over in head.

Somehow it is reflecting my state of mind right now.


Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?

Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?

Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?

Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?

They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;

The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.

Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,

Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?



I think my "red fire glowing" is going out.

Tell me what you think happened.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Post #77

I am a sucker for these quizzes.

1. When was the last time you shaved?
Today, after many many days of not shaving.
2. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Green. what is that, lime?
3. Do you enjoy looking at your myspace profile?
It is my guilty pleasure. Reading that and my blog.
4. What does your favorite candle smell like?
Fresia or rain.
5. Are you any good at math?
Hell to the no.
6. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Sadly, no.
7. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Gosh, probably college sometime. I am sure I repressed the whole traumatic thing.
8. Who should get number one on People magazines sexiest list?
Colin "Fuck me" Farrell. As for the ladies, I would say Angelina Jolie. She is perfection.
9. What is one of your favorite things to do when it's cold outside?
Snuggle in a cozy, warm sweater.
10. What is one of your favorite things to do when it's hot outside?
Complain and sit in front of the fan/air conditioner.
11. What was the last TV show you watched?
Some crazy documentary on killer jellyfish.
12. Do you have any famous ancestors?
That depends on what they are famous for...
13. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Cracked open a wee bit.
14. Do you have a secret identity?
Of course, and she is a Hobbit.
15. Have you ever sniffed magic markers?
What, like today?
16. What was one of your favorite toys as a child?
I have a family of three bears: mama, papa and baby. I still sleep with them on my bed.
17. Are you good at cooking anything in particular?
I kick dessert's ass!
18. Do you have any injuries right now?
Carpal Tunnel is acting up, and my ... heart ...
19. Do you have a credit card?
Yes, just don't ask if they are maxed or not.
20. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
Unfortunately, yes. And I can't pay it now.
21. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
Every last one of them. Do I know the worlds to the Star Spangled Banner? Not so much.
22. Do you have DSL, cable or dialup?
Isn't DSL and Cable the same thing? I have one of those.
23. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines/voice mail?
Yes, like a rambling idiot.
24. Have you ever wanted to look like someone else?
I still do. Anyone else but me.
25. What's your favorite frozen treat?
Ice Cream, bitches!
26. Are you an organized person?
I thought I had the answer to that question in this file here, but I don't see it now. Maybe in that box over there? Nope. I know it was just here a minute ago, can you lift up that pile of papers over there and see if it is underneath??
27. Do you think you have an OCD about anything?
Yep, but not in a terrible and agonizing disorder way, but in a cute "Monk"-ish way. (you know, the TV show)
28. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to (I said concert you pervs)?
First concert was The Monkees at the Canfield Fair. Followed many years later by New Kids On The Block. Opening act? -- Weird AL!
29. What are your guilty pleasures?
Myspace, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Chocolate, Mr goodvibrations ... oh wait...
30. Are you a fast reader?
No, I analyze too much.
31. Have you ever put "yes please" by sex on something you had to fill out (i.e. job application, standardized test...)?
God, I am such a dork...
32. Have you ever vandalized anything?
Yes. I tend to vandalize/destroy at work. I think I have an issue or five.
33. Are you afraid or bothered by something that others find strange?
I have to wash packaged underwear before I wear them.
34. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Sure.
35. Do you use Twizzlers as straws?
No, I use them to snort my cocaine.
36. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Getting braces on and off. I hate teeth!
37. Can you name all 50 states?
There are fifty?
38. Is there a celebrity that you would like to punch in the face?
Ann Coulter and all the other homophobic, racist, sexist, and hate spewing pieces of shit that pollute our earth in the name of God or the government.
39. Have you ever stepped on something sharp and had it go through your foot?
Yikes, no.
40. Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish?
No, but did you know there are killer jellyfish ... (seeing if you are paying attention)
41. What's one of the dumbest home remedies that you've heard of?
Drawing a blank.
42. Have you ever saved anyone's life?
I don't think so. I couldn't deal with it even if I did -- too much responsibility.
43. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
I like everything that the ocean does except kill people.
44. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?BITCH I bought myself one last year!!!
45. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
No, but would LOVE LOVE LOVE To go. Does that make me a nerd?
46. Do you use a lot of salt?
Only when I want a little popcorn with my salt.
47. Is your closet organized?
What closet? Everything I own is strewn all over the floor.
48. What is a funny sound to you?
Little kids laughing -- it is as contagious as bird flu.
49. Have you ever been complimented on something other than your looks?
Yes... on my writing skills
50. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. Am I gross?